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  • Haunted by Her Past

    Haunted by Her Past

    ★★½

    It's a shame susan lucci wasn't in more TV movies, she can make anything work no matter how dumb it is. Such a glittering camp goddess, I adore her.
    In this she plays a colonial antiques-obsessed woman married to the ultimate megadouche john james (look at his face on the poster! ugh!), who takes her (along with their 2 best friends for no real reason, since they contribute nothing to the plot) to one of those colonial re-enactment villages where…

  • Happy Hell Night

    Happy Hell Night

    ★★★

    After a slow, crappy beginning, Happy Hell Night blossoms into a perfectly entertaining slasher. The plot is layered with all kinds of nonsense, but the really cool part is the killer- a possessed demon priest dude who uses a pickaxe and delivers a quip along with every gnarly kill.
    His quips are so dumb though, they're all formatted like "no ______", for example, when he pickaxes jorja fox sitting in her parked car, he says "no parking!!" He made me…

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  • Event Horizon

    Event Horizon

    ★★★★★

    I have realized that the thing I love most about Event Horizon is how much the characters care about each other and listen to each other, how much they value their own and each others’ lives. It would be an awesome scary space story either way, but the human feelings of our poor space adventurers really give it so much more impact and enjoyment. 

    Except for Sam Neill, of course, who I don’t think has ever played a character with…

  • Snuff

    Snuff

    ★★★½

    Exploitation vibes like crazy! Quit your job, wear bikini tops instead of shirts at all times, and devote your self to Satan ('say-TAHN') who is a real douche most of the time, but will at least provide you with weapons, spare bikini tops, drugs, and occult killing missions to keep you busy all summer long.
    The snuff film scene at the end is entertaining and weirdly staged. I got the summertime exploitation vibes I was looking for. I can't complain.