Sylvester 🐍 has written 13 reviews for films rated β˜… .

  • Vivarium

    Vivarium

    β˜…

    The House.
    It’s A House.
    A Viva House.
    A Floating House.
    Jesse Eisenberg in A House.
    Ok.Β 
    It’s A House.
    A cold empty house.
    A boring boring not cool sci-fi.
    House.

    That’s what Vivarium is.

  • Minions

    Minions

    β˜…

    "Minions in some weird arcade game.
    An impossible to win Minion claw game.
    An impossible to win Minion cash drop game.
    This grotesque Minion replica thing.
    The DaVinci Mystery-oh I mean The Minion Mystery.
    A Winnie the Pooh arcade ga-oh wait there's a Minion in there.
    Win a Vampire or Pirate Minion...or this one in the corner that looks like it has something wrong with it.
    How about this jazz game-oh no wait there are Minions in here too.
    How…

  • Gummo

    Gummo

    β˜…

    Gummo.
    Gummo?
    Dummo.
    Dumbo.
    Dummo.
    Gummo.
    Gummu.
    Gummi.
    Gummy.
    Bear.
    Gummy Bear.
    Gummo Bear.
    Gummo.
    Gumma.
    Gunna.
    Gun.
    Gunn.
    James Gunn.
    James Gunno.
    James Gummo.
    Ames Gummo.
    Mes Gummo.
    Es Gummo.
    S Gummo.
    Gummo.

    We’re right back where we started.

  • Playing with Fire

    Playing with Fire

    β˜…

    NO FIRE TO PLAY WITH JOHN CENA!

  • Hillary

    Hillary

    β˜…

    Mate we don’t need your resurrection of a person who lost the election in 2016.

  • Dolittle

    Dolittle

    β˜…

    Executive producer: Ok, so Robert, imma need you to play Dr. Dolittle.
    Robert Downey Jr: Ok, so like Eddie Murphy?
    Executive producer: Yes. But worse in every way. Got it?
    Robert Downey Jr: Got it.

  • Escape Room

    Escape Room

    β˜…

    I wasn’t scared once.

  • Bloodshot

    Bloodshot

    β˜…

    No blood

  • Fantasy Island

    Fantasy Island

    β˜…

    No good fantasies

  • Darkest Hour

    Darkest Hour

    β˜…

    One word: Oscarbait.

  • Downhill

    Downhill

    β˜…

    It only goes Downhill from here.

  • Cats

    Cats

    β˜…

    No.