Saving Mr. Banks ½

Patronizing, terrifying, sexist, saccharine, tedious... evil, really! This is a movie about a woman being manipulated and beaten down over two lethargically paced hours by a rich, whimsical man and his corporate machine until finally, finally he unlocks her psyche and she gives in. Every character in this is one-dimensional, granted a single trait or explanatory secret. Every conversation is premised on the laziest kind of historical irony and the assumption that Mary Poppins in its finished form is the greatest thing mankind has ever wrought. Fuck this movie. This is roughly how I expect Oceania's Ministry of Truth would adapt 1984.

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