Favorite films

  • Crimson Peak
  • Mostly Martha
  • Betty Blue
  • The Duke of Burgundy

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  • The Kindergarten Teacher

    ★★★★

  • Addams Family Values

    ★★★★½

  • Secrets in Suburbia

    ★★

  • The Glass Key

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  • After Earth

    After Earth

    This movie didn't make a lot of sense. Every ~10 minutes, Shyamalan decided to insert footage at a different aspect ratio, featuring dancing bacon frying in a pan, or humans back 1000 years before the events of the film talking about guacamole or mortgage refinancing. It was a strange juxtaposition to draw, and really pulled me out of the world he was otherwise trying to build.

  • Time After Time

    Time After Time

    ★★★

    How is this only the second horniest I've seen Mary Steenburgen in a time travel adventure movie??

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  • The Kindergarten Teacher

    The Kindergarten Teacher

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    MaF Roulette, Season 10 Week 1

    Gyllenhaal's final resignation in the face of reality, and the acceptance of the extent of her dissatisfaction and projection, is accomplished so fucking expertly in her performance at the end. I wasn't expecting her to bring the narrative to such a compelling close with only 3 minutes left, and then the woman went and did the damn thing. Brava.

  • Addams Family Values

    Addams Family Values

    ★★★★½

    The Francis Dollarhyde Do You See? slideshow remains one of the greatest sequences in cinematic history.

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  • After Hours

    After Hours

    ★★★★½

    This movie is why I hate most people, why I don't go out at night, and why I stay in to just watch movies instead, all wrapped up in one. Majestic.

  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★½

    That was the single most viscerally unpleasant theater experience I have ever had. The whole second half felt like a frickin heart attack. Well done, Safdies.