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  • Savage Dog

    Savage Dog

    ★½

    My first time watching a Scott Adkins movie, as opposed to a movie that Scott Adkins happens to star in, an important distinction to be sure, so as not to confuse the cottage industry of dreck like this, with, say, Doctor Strange. There's Keith David, and our fearless hero killing (and eating) bad guys for a full ninety minutes of course, but the acting is so bad, and the story so derivative and perfunctory, that it barely registers. And the…

  • Survival of the Dead

    Survival of the Dead

    ★★½

    After the abysmal Diary Of The Dead, Romero rediscovers the sly sense of humor on display throughout his original trilogy, offering up several great zombie deaths, and a cast of surprisingly tolerable characters. The story is an improvement as well, touching on familiar themes of the undead integrating with society, but suggesting an actual community this time. Unfortunately Romero goes nowhere with this premise, favoring his superficial story through a bunch of third act plot twists that come out of nowhere and deflate any sense of anticipation and audience investment.

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★½

    It's only been four days and I'm already tired of arguing with people about Guardians Of The Galaxy. So I say fuck this movie right in its 92% Rotten Tomatoes-approved-fresh ass. Sorry, does that offend you? Here you go, here's the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack to listen to while you read the rest of the review; apparently that can make everything better.

    People like to criticize Hollywood for making the same movie over and over again. Apparently some of those same…

  • Clouds of Sils Maria

    Clouds of Sils Maria

    ★★★★★

    You can tell after the first ten minutes of watching Clouds Of Sils Maria that it is not a Hollywood production; one, because Juliette Binoche's character Maria is still alive, and two, because Kristen Stewart is actually allowed to act, and she's pretty great at it by the way.

    In yet another year of middling roles for women, Sils Maria is a dream come true. Masterfully directed by Olivier Assayas, the film centers on an aging actress preparing to play…