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  • Right to Die

    Right to Die

    ★★★

    I guess Mick Garris was using the term "Masters Of Horror" loosely when he tapped Rob Schmidt to direct an installment.

    Rob Schmidt, ladies and gentlemen.

    Forgiving that, Right To Die is an occasionally nasty and darkly comic throwback to the old E.C. yarns that inspired HBO's Tales From The Crypt. But unfortunately it only proves the latter's superiority, stretching out the same shopworn tale of infidelity and supernatural karma over a completely unnecessary sixty minutes, with nothing but filler and repetition to pad its running time.

  • Escape Room

    Escape Room

    ★★★½

    While this goes off the rails a bit in the final reel, stumbling all over itself to set up franchise potential and shadowy villains, the escape rooms themselves are fantastically designed, suspense-filled, action-packed, set pieces. The fact that the filmmakers were able to give the characters believable backstories, with subtle reveals, and build an actual story out of them puts Escape Room squarely into the "solid" category. This is one of those movies that would be a blast to watch with people who haven't seen it.

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★½

    It's only been four days and I'm already tired of arguing with people about Guardians Of The Galaxy. So I say fuck this movie right in its 92% Rotten Tomatoes-approved-fresh ass. Sorry, does that offend you? Here you go, here's the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack to listen to while you read the rest of the review; apparently that can make everything better.

    People like to criticize Hollywood for making the same movie over and over again. Apparently some of those same…

  • Clouds of Sils Maria

    Clouds of Sils Maria

    ★★★★★

    You can tell after the first ten minutes of watching Clouds Of Sils Maria that it is not a Hollywood production; one, because Juliette Binoche's character Maria is still alive, and two, because Kristen Stewart is actually allowed to act, and she's pretty great at it by the way.

    In yet another year of middling roles for women, Sils Maria is a dream come true. Masterfully directed by Olivier Assayas, the film centers on an aging actress preparing to play…