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  • Carrie Pilby

    Carrie Pilby

    ★★★

    The Diary Of A Teenage Girl (College Edition), without all the bullshit.

  • The Void

    The Void

    ★★

    An impressive sound design and practical creature effects are wasted on an incoherent story that has no problem coming up with freakishly grotesque images and ideas, but remains unable to put them together into a whole. From two of the Astron-6 guys, The Void has significantly more polish than what we've come to expect, as well as a greater budget, but it can't disguise the emptiness at the film's core, and its pretentious non-ending. Really, this just made me want to watch Baskin again.

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★½

    It's only been four days and I'm already tired of arguing with people about Guardians Of The Galaxy. So I say fuck this movie right in its 92% Rotten Tomatoes-approved-fresh ass. Sorry, does that offend you? Here you go, here's the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack to listen to while you read the rest of the review; apparently that can make everything better.

    People like to criticize Hollywood for making the same movie over and over again. Apparently some of those same…

  • Clouds of Sils Maria

    Clouds of Sils Maria

    ★★★★★

    You can tell after the first ten minutes of watching Clouds Of Sils Maria that it is not a Hollywood production; one, because Juliette Binoche's character Maria is still alive, and two, because Kristen Stewart is actually allowed to act, and she's pretty great at it by the way.

    In yet another year of middling roles for women, Sils Maria is a dream come true. Masterfully directed by Olivier Assayas, the film centers on an aging actress preparing to play…