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  • Inside

    Inside

    ½

    Remember when I said Martyrs was the most unnecessary remake in the history of cinema? Um...yeahhhhhhhhh.

  • All These Sleepless Nights

    All These Sleepless Nights

    ★½

    All These Comparisons To Malick. But the one notable, and most important distinction, is in the dialogue - where Malick's characters are mostly silenced, or voiced in barely audible whispers by actors who are able to use their faces and body language, Michal Marczak's pretentious twats do not ever stop talking, and the concretizing approach lies in direct contrast to its listless ability to float in and out of their lives. Sometimes my mind wanders during a Malick film and…

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★½

    It's only been four days and I'm already tired of arguing with people about Guardians Of The Galaxy. So I say fuck this movie right in its 92% Rotten Tomatoes-approved-fresh ass. Sorry, does that offend you? Here you go, here's the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack to listen to while you read the rest of the review; apparently that can make everything better.

    People like to criticize Hollywood for making the same movie over and over again. Apparently some of those same…

  • Clouds of Sils Maria

    Clouds of Sils Maria

    ★★★★★

    You can tell after the first ten minutes of watching Clouds Of Sils Maria that it is not a Hollywood production; one, because Juliette Binoche's character Maria is still alive, and two, because Kristen Stewart is actually allowed to act, and she's pretty great at it by the way.

    In yet another year of middling roles for women, Sils Maria is a dream come true. Masterfully directed by Olivier Assayas, the film centers on an aging actress preparing to play…