Atomic Blonde ★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

All the elements are there, so I should have loved it. Blondie haircut -- check. 80's soundtrack -- check. The titles and color scheme of Stormy Monday -- check. So why was I so abjectly bored? At one point the heroine of this average movie walks into a genuine classic, which is mercifully kept in soft focus until she pulls a fire alarm literally ruining that screening. David Leitch clearly loves his references, and he's an awesome fight coordinator (there's a fight in a stairwell so exhilarating that it briefly woke me up and earned the two stars I gave this movie), but the stylistic flourishes, whooshes, goofy John Wick-ish tone, and gratuitous CGI Berlin flyover rob this spy thriller of the opportunity to exist as a proper period piece set in any possible context of reality. It's miming the 1980's, and I resent it for it.