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  • Beyoncé: Live at Coachella

    Beyoncé: Live at Coachella

    ★★★★★

    Unironically better than The Godfather

  • Hamlet

    Hamlet

    ★★★

    FOUR HOURS OF KENNETH BRANAGH HAMMING IT UP AS HAMLET WITH EXTREMELY DATED DIALOGUE AND MY TEACHER PAUSING EVERY TWENTY SECONDS

    FUCK
    YES
    DUDE

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  • You Were Never Really Here

    You Were Never Really Here

    ★★★★½

    Hi, I know, it's been awhile. My little break from film really came out of nowhere, but I have good reasoning for it. Films, in general, had begun to feel like a chore for me. The habit of watching one per day (with some off days) was perfectly fine for about a month and a half. I was enjoying myself and the films I was watching. Discovering foreign classics, some anime, you know, the good shit. Eventually, though, watching films…

  • Crash

    Crash

    BEST PICTURE

    BEST SCREENPLAY

    How could anyone fuck up that badly, giving such a morally-skewed piece of shit some of the highest honors in the film industry? A huge embarrassment that will forever taint any sane persons view of the academy.

    There’s a scene where Michael Peña’s character’s daughter jumps in front of him as he gets shot at — from point blank range. Nobody gets hit, though Haggis makes us think a little girl got shot for a few…