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  • The Orphanage

    The Orphanage

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Why is everyone saying how spooky this movie was.

    Ex-Orphanage
    +
    Kid Spirits
    +
    Dying kid
    +
    Loving Mother
    =
    Predictable fucking movie

    There is some kewl scenes, good acting, decent predictable story.

  • Lady Frankenstein

    Lady Frankenstein

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The good doctor is at it again. This time creating a mars attack toxic frankensteins monster. This monster doesn't waste time, kills the good ol doc and string of banging teenagers thru out the village.

    His Daughter picked up the mantle and will create a monster of her own.

    She has no issue, using her body to accomplish this feat. She didn't need to give the mumbling farm hand a good time to kill him. Out of the kindness of…

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  • Tourist Trap

    Tourist Trap

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Taking a rest from watching Bleach the anime I noticed Joe Bob Briggs is back. Taking me back to my youth I had to watch it. This is the first movie on his 26 hour marathon.

    I think the dolls have psychic/telepathic powers. Boy stops at a old building to get his tire fixed and the dolls mind fuck him and throw glass at him until he is dead. The whole time the dolls are maniacally laughing.

    His friends start…

  • Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre

    Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    If you have ever watched a Troma film, this next sentence will be very sad.

    This might have some of the worst acting i've seen in a troma film

    1/2 hour in and they just finished laying down the foundation of the story line

    Angry indian, killing people every columbus day for revenge of his people. Nope its Tom the cabin renter, what a twist. Not really, looks like a highschool project for class.