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  • Bohemian Rhapsody

    Bohemian Rhapsody

    ★★★★

    Seems more concerned, at times, with ticking all the boxes of your typical band biopic than igniting the audience (this is mainly a problem concentrated to the first half) but I love the cast and Malik is phenomenal as Mercury. What a performance! Talk about giving one’s all and being born for a role. Then, of course, there is the music. So the good definitely outweighs the bad. I should also make it known right here and now that Queen…

  • Venom

    Venom

    ★½

    You can dress a turd in IMAX, but it will still be a turd. Checked it out mainly for the rare opportunity to experience said theatre system for the first time (it’s the only film that was showing) and while the screen was massive and the sound really mind-blowing, the movie per se rapidly poisoned and eventually murdered the initial awe. Such an ugly-looking and abysmally written clusterfuck of a comic book flick that it failed to even meet my…

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  • Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    ★★★★½

    Screw everything I said previously about this film. The Dark Knight of spy thrillers is all that needs to be said. May this franchise never stop running on Cruise control. I mean uncontrol. I mean -- fuck, you know what I mean.

  • I Kill Giants

    I Kill Giants

    ★★★½

    Not only a solid guide as to how to kill and deal with giants (gummy bears FTW!) but also a pleasant way to kill some time. In fact, I can’t recall any film involving giants that I’ve enjoyed this thoroughly (unless you count those made of iron as well) or one with a lead character as quirkily compelling as Madison Wolfe’s Barbara. Precocious without being annoying, which is a rather rare occurrence nowadays (do I need to bring up The…

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  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

    ★★★★

    God creates dinosaurs

    God destroys dinosaurs

    God creates Steven Spielberg

    Steven Spielberg creates dinosaurs

    Dinosaurs inspire man

    Man destroys God

    The Indie-to-Hollywood Conversion Factory creates Colin Trevorrow

    Colin Trevorrow reverse-engineers a beloved childhood favorite and puts most of the pieces back in a satisfying, nostalgic and highly entertaining fashion, if also neglecting the importance of character and the great, oh-so-great value of Goldblumian acting capabilities.

    Second-rate writers inherit the earth

  • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    ★★½

    The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the funky air of my local HFR theatre.

    Much that once was is lost, for no director now lives who remembers its subtle epicness.

    It began with the forging of The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the great feels that followed.

    Three feels were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings.

    Seven to the Dwarf…