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  • The Doors

    The Doors

    ★★★★

    Trippy, sexy, far out and groovy! My consciousness, like, expanded, drinking potions of poetic knowledge from the outer reaches of the realm of rock. What is veiled becomes clear. And through that clarity we find new ways to be diffuse, new ways to love, new ways of capturing the essence of a multiple-choice universe. More than this, further than that, I finally grasp the true meaning behind Jim Morrison hanging out with a naked indian in the desert in Wayne's World 2.

  • Bad Boys for Life

    Bad Boys for Life

    ★★★

    Not that I expect realism or 100% plausibility from a film like Bad Boys for Life (isn't it amazing how a couple of bullets can flip a car off its transport truck?) but Will Smith having a talented son is just a ridiculous amount of fiction.

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  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

    ★★★★

    God creates dinosaurs

    God destroys dinosaurs

    God creates Steven Spielberg

    Steven Spielberg creates dinosaurs

    Dinosaurs inspire man

    Man destroys God

    The Indie-to-Hollywood Conversion Factory creates Colin Trevorrow

    Colin Trevorrow reverse-engineers a beloved childhood favorite and puts most of the pieces back in a satisfying, nostalgic and highly entertaining fashion, if also neglecting the importance of character and the great, oh-so-great value of Goldblumian acting capabilities.

    Second-rate writers inherit the earth

  • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    ★★½

    The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the funky air of my local HFR theatre.

    Much that once was is lost, for no director now lives who remembers its subtle epicness.

    It began with the forging of The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the great feels that followed.

    Three feels were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings.

    Seven to the Dwarf…