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Recent reviews

  • Can You Ever Forgive Me?

    Can You Ever Forgive Me?


    I've never felt so moved by two people calling each other horrid cunts

  • The Wrong Missy

    The Wrong Missy


    Movies bearing the Happy Madison insignia exist for three distinct reasons nowadays:

    1. To give Adam Sandler's friends and family a chance to still feel relevant and needed, even when their physical appearance has taken on...awkward attributes.

    2. To grab a SNL sketch's worth of comedy material and drag it out to (for the first two thirds rather obnoxious) feature film length.

    3. Vanilla Ice has bills to pay (and royalties won't fill the tray)

Popular reviews

  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World


    God creates dinosaurs

    God destroys dinosaurs

    God creates Steven Spielberg

    Steven Spielberg creates dinosaurs

    Dinosaurs inspire man

    Man destroys God

    The Indie-to-Hollywood Conversion Factory creates Colin Trevorrow

    Colin Trevorrow reverse-engineers a beloved childhood favorite and puts most of the pieces back in a satisfying, nostalgic and highly entertaining fashion, if also neglecting the importance of character and the great, oh-so-great value of Goldblumian acting capabilities.

    Second-rate writers inherit the earth

  • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies


    The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the funky air of my local HFR theatre.

    Much that once was is lost, for no director now lives who remembers its subtle epicness.

    It began with the forging of The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the great feels that followed.

    Three feels were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings.

    Seven to the Dwarf…