Trippy, sexy, far out and groovy! My consciousness, like, expanded, drinking potions of poetic knowledge from the outer reaches of the realm of rock. What is veiled becomes clear. And through that clarity we find new ways to be diffuse, new ways to love, new ways of capturing the essence of a multiple-choice universe. More than this, further than that, I finally grasp the true meaning behind Jim Morrison hanging out with a naked indian in the desert in Wayne's World 2.

Not that I expect realism or 100% plausibility from a film like Bad Boys for Life (isn't it amazing how a couple of bullets can flip a car off its transport truck?) but Will Smith having a talented son is just a ridiculous amount of fiction.

God creates dinosaurs

God destroys dinosaurs

God creates Steven Spielberg

Steven Spielberg creates dinosaurs

Dinosaurs inspire man

Man destroys God

The Indie-to-Hollywood Conversion Factory creates Colin Trevorrow

Colin Trevorrow reverse-engineers a beloved childhood favorite and puts most of the pieces back in a satisfying, nostalgic and highly entertaining fashion, if also neglecting the importance of character and the great, oh-so-great value of Goldblumian acting capabilities.

Second-rate writers inherit the earth