Avengers: Endgame

Avengers: Endgame ★★★★★

Why must all good things come to an end? Why is Hawkeye, of all ”characters”, getting his own show? Why is Gamora? Why have I suddenly lost the ability to breathe? Why didn’t I check out Parks and Recreation sooner, instead of four years after the show ended? Why isn’t Ron Swanson president of the world economy? Why are villains that make as much sense as Thanos such an unusual phenomenon? Why was Captain Marvel such an underwhelming experience? Why do I think so much better in the shower and why am I more creative with beer in my system? Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? When did Santa Clause become an Avenger? Why, you know, do we even have, like, opinions, man? Why don’t I like the taste of eggs, caramel, sushi, cherries and rice pudding? Why do I love the taste of onions while someone very close to me can’t stand it? Why is Winter and Summer mingling in April? Why hasn’t Rich ”Dick the Birthday Boy” Evans been publicly declared a god yet? Has it something to do with the Sokovia Accords? Why is Aquaman celebrated as the second coming of Christ when it’s rather a second helping of Green Lantern, a movie that Ryan Reynolds went back in time to kill himself over? Why do so many of my socks disappear? Why is music, apart from scores by Alan Silvestri, pretty much dead? Why do I buy books I know I’m never gonna read, or at least not until my retirement years? Why are most of these questions negatively inclined, even though the film that they sprung from is one of the most transcendently satisfying and epic events I’ve ever felt and witnessed? Why is Palpatine laughing at the end of the The Rise of Skywalker trailer? Why am I, despite being an avid Star Wars fan for 25 years, so much more excited about Joker? Does this mean I’m becoming an adult? Why should I be me when, in some universe out there, I can be Jeff Goldblum? Why am I still shaking? And finally, and perhaps most importantly, why did you waste a part of your fleeting corporeal existence reading to this point? Unless you have some answers to share, then thank you for enduring my mentally unhinged ramblings and being a decent human being.

Entered lists:

Ranked: 2019

Ranked: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Ranked: Superhero / Comic Book Movies

Top 10 of the Decade: 2010-2019

Top 200: My All-Time Favorite Films

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