Jumanji: The Next Level

Jumanji: The Next Level

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

In this movie:

- The Rock punches an ostrich in the face

- Karen Gillan feels her own boobs

- Kevin Hart talks reeaaaallly slooowly

- famous Youtuber Jablinski Games does the exact same jokes you saw in the previous one

- Awkwafina does her best Danny DeVito impression

- Danny DeVito complains about not being able to get laid, which is EXTREMELY unrealistic. I mean have you seen how hot that guy is. There's a reason Reddit thinks he's the sexiest man alive. It's a good thing he isn't in the movie a lot cos i had to resist the urge to whip it out and bust a fat nut every time he was on screen. Fuck.

- Danny Glover embraces his horse fetish.

Should you see it? Should you not see it? Would Martin Scorsese think it's cinema? I don't know. I don't even know anything anymore.


What are these "movies" anyway?

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