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Where In The Hell Is The Lavender House: The Longmont Potion Castle Story 2019
The moments of interest are when the subject matter is given screentime - showing their thought & technical process from behind the curtain, it was so cool to see LPC's audio setup. Amazing how little of that actually composes the whole documentary though, this is more of a mockumentary about the director more than anything - attempting to dramatise and poke fun out of their creative foibles in making this thing. Would have been interesting enough, in the vein of like…
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Black Widow 2021
The really depressing thing is that I essentially only watched this because I've watched the rest of the entire MCU. Clocking in for what feels like mandatory community service.
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Anatomy of a Murder 1959
Why is this even called "Anatomy of a Murder"? This movie is astoundingly disinterested in the case of murder and rape it spends nearly three agonising hours plodding around. Lee Remick’s character, the victim of sexual assault, acting flirtatious and nonchalant in a sea of legal victim-blaming made me furious lol, kick this movie back into the century it crawled from. Doesn't even have the wherewithal to feature good performances, be funny, or be remotely visually interesting - endless genial…
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Tenet 2020
Finally feels like Nolan taking risks, but manages to stay completely safe throughout. Hilariously pronounced "bwomps" from the soundtrack as it beats me over the head with Nolan's afternoon Wiki-dive. Just doesn't explain its lofty concepts well no matter how hard it tries to convince me it did. Honestly never been a premise I want to see in someone else's hands more - a director with a sense of humour, kinetic energy, wit, a soul. Played Poinie's Poin immediately after, it's really fun you should check it out.
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Hellraiser 1987
Lol this sucks man. Aside from the wonderful practical effects applied in the regeneration scene, there's nothing here for me. If you're going to be completely overwrought, crude, and vapid - at least don't be fucking boring.
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Alice in Wonderland 2010
Unbearably ugly soulless movie with matching politics. How did this piece of shit gross over a billion dollars.
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Kronk's New Groove 2005
Wow this movie is just character assassination. I loved Kronk to death, but now I think he's only okay. I was hoping for Young Yzma too, but they were too cowardly. Cunt movie.
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Thor: The Dark World 2013
I've been watching the entire Marvel movie series and this is the only one I have any actual opinion on. Easily the worst in the entire MCU, genuinely boring and hard to sit through. Its one and only saving grace is the can of Vimto.