Beach has written 36 reviews for films rated ★★★½ .

  • Call of the Wild

    Call of the Wild


    i love watching a movie set in the 1900s and everyone is just trading solid gold bars instead of print money like its looney tunes

  • Spider-Man 2

    Spider-Man 2


    Peter in the prime of his life and it's edited like a youtube MAD. The hospital sequence essentially being Evil Dead 4. Much to like.
    Way funnier than the first, that's for sure! J.K. Simmons stole the entire movie with his sequences, if I'll be frank. There's a dude just having fun and chewing every second of screentime up like he's starving.

    I dunno, maybe I'm coming way too hot off the tray with Spider-Man 1, but it just didn't hit as hard. Heartfelt, undeniably so, but it's starting to feel a tad too quaint about it. Still, Molena did some incredible faces.

  • The Pursuit of Happyness

    The Pursuit of Happyness


    Nowhere near as tight as I remembered - overly melodramatic and structured far too Hollywood for it to really come across as compellingly real or human. There are so many sprinting/extraneous conflict scenes it's ridiculous. The padding is truly unnecessary because, while not technically impressive, the movie is held aloft with the Smiths' incredible father-son chemistry and performances. Lifts it out of the problematic core, which is just any other capitalistic American Dream success story, you have to suffer through…

  • Galaxy Quest

    Galaxy Quest


    Cute!!! Didn't find this as funny as I did reverent and charming, so honestly it might end up sticking with me for longer.
    The more I look at Sam Rockwell the more actors I realise he looks exactly like, that guy is a living deepfake.

  • Johnny Mnemonic

    Johnny Mnemonic


    it's so cute when keanu tries to act, his monologue towards the end of the movie had me beaming. really fun!!!!! cyber dolphin saves the world from techno jesus, what;s not to lov

  • The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run

    The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run


    Wasn't expecting this to be the Sakuga piece I needed. Genuinely laugh out loud funny in parts, and surprisingly gorgeous to boot.

  • Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
  • The Godfather

    The Godfather


    what happened to that cat

  • Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

    Overdrawn at the Memory Bank


    It made me laugh and it made me laugh and made me think. I like it. Who doesn't want to download M.Bison. Casio keyboards were slaughtered in the making.

  • 100% Taxes

    100% Taxes


    Hey, bullets go through doors. They didn't learn that in IRS school?

  • Goodbye, Mr. Chips

    Goodbye, Mr. Chips


    I came running when I heard this was so overly sentimental it could border on sheer insincerity. That's exactly my shit. Donat's performance as a man of unbridled kindness was honestly wonderful, he made it feel genuinely heartfelt. See ya Mister Timeskip.

    "I heard you saying it was a pity- a pity I never had any children. But you're wrong. I have. Thousands of them. Thousands of them."

  • Moana



    a whole sea of powerade..... too nice