Beach has written 19 reviews for films rated ★★★ .

  • Moonraker



    The most comedic Bond movie yet but the only funny thing about it is how none of it comes together at all. Absolutely delirious scatterbrained shite that would hit so much harder if Roger Moore had any more charisma, expression and screen presence than a plywood board. There's a vibe of Just Fucking Around that elevates this movie above its dishwater predecessors but Moore is mooring the momentum with his relentless geography teacher energy. True blessings to the set and…

  • Dr. No

    Dr. No


    Starting my Bond journey as an act of self-flagellation. Dr. No is lacking in propulsion & racial sensitivity (trademark 60's movie), but the villain was a gay evil genius so I can't help but feel cared for. Honestly thin of anything I can particularly cling to and call Good, painfully stodgy and disgustingly british, but it's generally gorgeou beige chic. Cool to see how many iconic mainstay elements are present right out of the gate, from the opulant exotix evil island,…

  • Chicken Run

    Chicken Run


    if i was a chicken, watching this would empower me

  • Black Narcissus

    Black Narcissus


    Sometimes there's so few dick on the mountain convent that you have no choice but to become the joker.
    Truly truly, mesmerisingly gorgeous, with performances that drip with emotion (despite being too loud-quiet-loud, Britishly stiff for my liking). Sister Ruth's impeccable Eye Acting and the stage production design sent the incredible final act flying. Would be some of the best use of colour I've ever seen if not for the damn brownface!!!
    A shame for such beauty to culminate and…

  • Minari



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    tfw ding dong broken.
    A lot of my good-will for Minari was washed away in the final act as the fuckup cascade enacted by a character suddenly bereft of agency felt genuinely emotionally manipulative. It came across as completely unnecessary as it came after an intensely moving one-to-one moment where the characters finally took a stand for themselves, which could have been where the movie began to wrap up. Still, I liked how sweet all of the characters were, chemistry…

  • Sorcerer



    After I finished my viewing of Wages of Fear, one of my prevailing thoughts was how sorely the first act stuck out; a largely dull and essentially skippable hour of nothing but bughouse vignettes into the worlds of the drivers. Was that too long? What's the point of humanising characters that couldn't possibly have a more convinced presence of inevitable demise? The answer to those questions can definitely be a little obvious, but Sorcerer helped drive them home.
    I can't…

  • Dracula



    "i never drink............................................... wine 😏😏😏"

  • Alexander Nevsky

    Alexander Nevsky


    Fun and engaging propaganda. Wonderful theatrics and costumes and camerawork. Feels like Disney did it.

  • Bad Taste

    Bad Taste


    A stream of consciousness so powerfully stupid and enthusiastic it somehow spawned a movie. What starts as some boys fucking around on a hill ends in one of the most impressive uses of practical effects on a low budget I've ever seen. You can almost feel Peter Jackson's filmmaking ability improving over the course of the movie, lending itself a fascinating feeling of momentum as the action and set/costume design exponentially kicks up.

  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

    Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind


    Mark Ruffalo in this looks like the guy from Motion City Soundtrack

  • Knives Out

    Knives Out


    Genuinely annoying on re-watch. I can forgive an unreliable narrator, but so many of the cast's alibis, in their entirity, were "sleeping" - and felt wholly underutilised. Marta was such a Mother Theresa she was boring to follow. At least Chris Evans was still hot.

  • The Peanut Butter Falcon

    The Peanut Butter Falcon


    Fun, feel-good movie. Not perfect by any means but makes up for its shortcomings with plenty of heart and great performances. Shia carries it.