• Jackass 3D

    Jackass 3D

    ★★★★

    Almost threw up during an unrelated story because I was still thinking about the sweat drinking challenge

    Spike Jonze fucks so hard

    Idk what I'm going to do without Better Call Saul, I think that show might kill me

  • Prey

    Prey

    ★★★★

    Get to the chopper (I need my axe back!!)

  • Predator

    Predator

    ★★★★½

    I've said it before, but what a perfect "have your cake and eat it too" movie. Let's hang out with a bunch of muscled-up cigar-chomping action guy soldiers in the jungle, while also deeply criticizing the way the CIA and American military have made a goddamn napalm playground out of every country full of brown people. The movie has such a deep love for humanity and such a deep hatred for the institutions we've built to thrash the shit out…

  • Lightyear

    Lightyear

    Wow, I didn't expect this to be for me, but I was really unprepared for how creatively bankrupt this whole thing was. Like, if you were assigned a movie based on Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story, and the most creative visual you could come up with was "a robot that looks like a cat" and didn't use any cool aliens or wacky robots or anything even remotely resembling a fun Pixar movie, making the whole thing a brown gray generic…

  • El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

    El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

    ★★★★½

    Don't talk to me about The Gray Man, talk to me about the Pinkman

    Pretty good, but it'd be better if it was a prequel about Jimmy McGill rising through the ranks of the Albuquerque legal world while the Mexican drug cartel wages a secret battle for the soul of the Southwest

    The opening scene in this movie is a flashback of Mike, standing where he'll one day die, talking to Jesse about how the future is wide open, but…

  • Nope

    Nope

    ★★★★

    Yup!

  • The Gray Man

    The Gray Man

    The Russos hate auteur theory so much, they've decided to go out of their way to prove the good parts of their older movies were entirely due the work of other people

    For real though, the directing here is actually incompetent. I've heard of directors getting locked out of the editing room, but this feels like they locked the editor out of the editing room. Like they filmed coverage for every possible shot, and then insisted on using every single one of them

    Dullllll, so dulllllll!!!! Dull dull DULLLL

  • Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

    Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

    ★★★★½

    "Music by James Horner" appears at the beginning and I clap and whoop so hard that my neighbors call the police

    I think basically any of the better Trek movies are shaded a color of "underrated" except for this one, which nobody on earth will disagree if you call it the best of them. But Shatner has this reputation as a shitty or lesser actor, I think partially due to his history of treating other people like crap on and…

  • Before Midnight

    Before Midnight

    ★★★★½

    Currently really interested in the idea of a millennial/gen Z version of the Before trilogy where they have to deal with how to build a future together in a world that might not have one. I feel like we're in this pop cultural state of denial where movies are largely uninterested in grappling with the dark stuff we're looking down the barrel of. A modern Jesse and Celine would have a long hard conversation about whether it's moral to bring…

  • The Powerpuff Girls Movie

    The Powerpuff Girls Movie

    ★★★½

    Not so much a "movie" because it really only has a first and third act, but it has some absolutely immaculate art design, some very sweet emotion at its core, and one of the most underrated vocal performances in modern cartoon history in Tom Kane's Professor Utonium. So genuine and wholesome, he retired from acting last year after a devastating stroke, and I'm really going to miss hearing his voice in projects. Chances are you've heard him a million times in cartoons, video games, and movies, and just never noticed

  • Ms. Marvel

    Ms. Marvel

    ★★★½

    The start of this show comes tantalizing close to being the ideal of what a Disney+ Marvel show should be. Imagine if these TV shows were actually treated like episodic TV SHOWS, like idk, pick literally any Spider-Man cartoon. "This is the episode where Kamala stops a bank robbery." "This is the one where a kid from her school becomes a supervillain." "This is the one where she goes to prom." We'd build a relationship to the characters and when…

  • Thor: Love and Thunder

    Thor: Love and Thunder

    ★★

    I'm actually devastated over how bad most of this was :(