Video game speedrunner and humanitarian. 27 he/him

Favorite films

  • The Big Lebowski
  • The Hateful Eight
  • American Psycho
  • The Grand Budapest Hotel

Recent activity

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl


  • Starship Troopers


  • Chinatown


  • Catch Me If You Can


Pinned reviews

  • True Grit

    True Grit


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Sorry to say this, but he had to shoot the horse. As my partner pointed out, it’s representative of Mattie’s loss of innocence, and arguably the consequences of her actions. The world is cold, and she’s living in it. I especially liked how she fell right into a pitch black (bear?) cave literally right after taking a life. Sure, you finessed nearly every adult man into doing your bidding on a quest to revenge, but it’s not all it’s cracked…

  • Pig



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Robin is a delightful protagonist. He cares little for status or power because life is transient and fleeting. He sees the decor changed in his old restaurant, and commends his former partner for making a tasteful choice. To be able to concede a point (however trivial) is difficult for me sometimes, and I like seeing that quality in others.

    Robin does not get his pig back. This is very sad, of course, because he loves his pig dearly. It is…

Recent reviews

  • The Conversation

    The Conversation


    My favorite part is how we’re put in Harry’s head and get to witness his moments of obsession, always coming back to the conversation. As he’s first leaving the director’s office with the ringing in his ears, the claustrophobia of the elevator, it’s a very fine moment that doesn’t beat you over the head with stress, it instead chooses a powerful simmer, and these thoughtful moments permeate the entire film. A masterful work. Coppola doesn’t fuck around.

  • Last Night in Soho

    Last Night in Soho


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    What Edgar Wright tees up here has promise but sadly does not commit to anything interesting and chooses to instead flail madly and act as though it sticks the landing.

    Loss of innocence through a nostalgic lens has a lot of promise—a lead from the country who sees ghosts comes to London to study fashion, and London has a lot more ghosts than our impressionable prodigy can handle. The first act is great. It sadly becomes unforgivable from here.

    The subversion…

Popular reviews

  • Halloween: Resurrection

    Halloween: Resurrection


    One of the greatest I have seen. I am dead serious. This is dripping with postmodernist meta commentary.

    Christ guys, this is a post-Scream take on the Halloween franchise and mythos! Retconning is referenced (continuous vs continual line), Myers’ commodification is intentional, the Deckard screen name is an obvious Blade Runner reference…

    People who think this is somehow a stain on the franchise need to reorient themselves. 4/5/6 are way worse than this, those films largely accomplish nothing.

    This film is…

  • Married to the Mob

    Married to the Mob


    This is relentless. I don’t mean a violent sort of relentless or an Airplane! comedic sort of relentless. It’s quite literally singing it’s own jingles one minute, and shooting from the hip with two guns the very next. It’s a bathtub in the kitchen. It’s a club soda after a night of drinking and dancing until everything is spinning and this goes on and on and on.

    Even though that clown in the drive thru didn’t assassinate you, perhaps your wife will. But until that happens the nightmares will go on and you’ll be checking your cock and balls in a panic every morning.