will

My name is IGN, I use decimal places because I have holes in my brain

Favorite films

  • The Godfather
  • Seven Samurai
  • Breathless
  • Cold War

Recent activity

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  • The Bling Ring

    ★★½

  • The Black Phone

    ½

  • Pauline

  • Skyscraper

    ½

Recent reviews

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  • The Bling Ring

    The Bling Ring

    ★★½

    love it when you search “paris hilton address” on knock off google and it actually comes up. somehow this film managed to make me feel both old and young, either a testament to the bizarre norms of american culture or the fact sophia coppola couldn’t write convincing teen dialogue to save her life. I really have nothing to say, woman eat hot chip and lie

  • The Black Phone

    The Black Phone

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A clusterfuck of dated horror tropes, abysmal acting, astonishingly nonsensical writing choices, and an unbearably amateur production, The Black Phone is a perfect embodiment of everything wrong with modern horror. Overreliant on the classic, ever so beloved jumpscare, to insert artificial tension at every turn. Any atmosphere it does create centres around Ethan, who despite the absolutely nothing character he's given, managed to cement an eerie presence around him that I initially started to appreciate. It was only when he…

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