What even is this?
There's something to be said for this being set almost entirely in daylight--the Creeper ain't hiding anymore, and this one has teenage boys galore getting penetrated with a variety of phallic weapons that literally can't be stopped. (The pain only gets worse if they put up a fight.) I don't really know why they let Victor Salva continue to make movies but then again this one took 15 years to get bankrolled and even Francis Coppola has washed his hands…
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
I hate this movie for all its cutesy quoting of Wrath of Khan while trying and spectacularly failing to sublet its gravitas. I hate it for casting the whitest actor on Earth as a man named Khan Noonien Singh. I hate it for the way that every shot in the back half is a three-ring circus of lens flares, cluttered sets, and CGI embellishments. I hate it for turning Spock into Sheldon from "The Big Bang Theory". I hate it…
Wes Anderson is a sharp guy, I'm sure the satirical component of those Mendl's pastry boxes didn't escape him, but still I couldn't help seeing them as an apt metaphor for the whole misbegotten enterprise: a giant pink container (like the Grand Budapest itself) housing a picture-perfect amuse-bouche free of nutrition and surrounded by a whole lot of air. Anderson is growing too dementedly solipsistic for me, and also bitter in a way that sadly never threatens to burst the…