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  • Gravity

    Gravity

    ★★★★

    I know everyone said you had to see this film in the cinema, but if I had watched it in a cinema I wouldn't have been able to offer advice to George and Sandy as they fumbled their way through space and time.

    Instead, in the comfort of my own home, I was able to alleviate the tension by bellowing sage words of wisdom at the two interlopers: "Open the fuckin' thing! Just fuckin' open it! Why won't you fuckin'…

  • Captain Phillips

    Captain Phillips

    ★★½

    The main problem with this film is its complete lack of peril or danger. Despite not knowing the backstory I was never in any doubt as to how the film would end. This is because Tom Hanks rarely, if ever, dies in a film. I know he died in Philadelphia, but he was very poorly in that film right from the beginning.

    So, although there was plenty of shouting and angry pointing of guns, this was essentially a film about four Somalian lads with rickety old rifles against the entire might of the US Navy, Marines and, bizarrely, some seals.

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  • I, Daniel Blake

    I, Daniel Blake

    ★★½

    It may deal with an politically urgent subject matter and help expose the realities of Britain's welfare state but Loach's film is about as subtle as a sledgehammer.

    In a world of complexities he manages to make everything seem black and white, characters are either good or evil there is no in-between, and the message he's trying to get across is weakened by how deliberate and heavy-handed it is in its presentation.

    Some of the plot twists are tiresome in…

  • Lucy

    Lucy

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    If I had a really bad hangover, the kind of hangover where even the most basic of thought processes were a struggle, this is the film I would watch.

    It has minimal plot, little or no narrative. It's exciting, but not too exciting. It has Morgan Freeman saying some of the most ridiculous lines in the history of cinema and making them sound like idle pub chatter, Scarlett being all whispery and mysterious, and a hilariously ridiculous ending which doesn't really make any sense, but so what?