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  • Samurai Cop

    Samurai Cop

    From a quality standpoint, this is a fuckin' 0/100 movie.

    From an entertainment standpoint? 100/10.

    It's impossible to rate this accurately based on those factors. Big shoutout to Rick Garcia aka 'Penis Grabbing Henchman' though. He really sold this for me.

    Direct quote from my girlfriend: "This is a spoof, right?"

  • Hellbound: Hellraiser II

    Hellbound: Hellraiser II

    ★★★★

    Way different than the first but nearly the same amount of awesome goretacularness and an even harsher, darker tone. At times, I feel the imagination was stronger than the execution unfortunately.

    The majority of the cast being the same as the first film gives this one a nice sense of continuity. One cohesive goopy messy blood-stained pair. I did have to look away (more or less) when the guy crawling with imaginary maggots sliced himself up to give Julia her rebirth though. Still, good stuff.

    Jesus wept.

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  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Oh boy we gettin' super spoilery up in here! I've got a shitload of thoughts on this so here's me just basically rambling for a little while, okay? I'm going to try and cover everything I can because like many, this series is very dear to my heart. Overall this is a pretty good Star Wars movie and I'd recommend it to anybody. A few things here or there kinda took me out of the moment, though.

    What was going…

  • Pet Sematary

    Pet Sematary

    ★★★

    Scavenger Hunt #31 - October 2017
    5/31
    Task #8: A film about resurrection; or one where something/someone comes back to life.

    "Sometimes, dead is better."

    Have you ever seen South Park? Specifically, one of the episodes with a creepy old guy in coveralls and a straw hat saying something along the lines of "yep lots of history down that road, you don't wanna go down that road"? That character was lifted 100% from this movie, down to the strange-to-place accent…