Favorite films

  • Star Wars
  • Grosse Pointe Blank
  • Columbus
  • Scream

Recent activity

  • The American Friend


  • The Quiet Girl


  • Wild Child


  • St. Trinian's


Pinned reviews

  • RoboCop



    i love ed-209. i would die for ed-209. i love the way it growls like a dinosaur and rolls around the floor like a child.

    i love ed-209.

    but not as much as i fuckin love robocop!!! what a fucking movie. immaculate. those news bits are the funniest things ever written. the gooey icky blood bursts? perfect.

    he's a robot and he's a cop and i'm so fucking happy right now.

  • The Hand of God

    The Hand of God


    look i think making a movie to work through your desire to fuck your aunt is cool and all, but could you at least try make it not boring as hell. this thing nearly ended about seventeen times and every time it cut to a new scene i wanted to die a little more

Recent reviews

  • The Quiet Girl

    The Quiet Girl


    aw man i'm crying. stunning work in pretty much every department, but man the three lead performances are absolutely stellar. catherine clinch has one of the strongest screen debuts i've ever seen.

  • Wild Child

    Wild Child


    genuinely the coolest group of friends ever. even cooler than mine. y'hear me nerds? i said juno temple and kimberly nixon are cooler than ye

    another excellent addition to the "mallaigh can quote the entire movie as it happens" canon

Popular reviews

  • Constantine: City of Demons - The Movie

    Constantine: City of Demons - The Movie

    there's a bit in this where constantine fucks the physical embodiment of the city of los angeles

  • The Hole

    The Hole


    actually somewhat enjoyed the first half of this, but the highly questionable way in which the plot develops just really didn't interest me. it's boring and overly grim, and the ending is deeply unsatisfying. the movie seems to think it's really much smarter than it actually is.

    keira knightley was fifteen at the time of filming, and not only does she walk through a room filled with naked grown men (playing students), but she also has a topless scene? shocked…