Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker ★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

A mess of fan service garbage disguised as a Star Wars movie.

TLJ vs. RoS

TLJ: “The Empire, your parents, the Resistance, the Sith, the Jedi... let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That's the only way to become what you are meant to be.”

RoS: The Empire is back, and every Jedi and every Sith ever will battle. Also, Lando is back. And Han Solo!

TLJ: “[Your parents] were filthy junk traders. Sold you off for drinking money. They're dead in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert. You come from nothing. You're nothing. But not to me.”

RoS: Yeah you a Palpatine.

TLJ: “This is not going to go the way you think!”

RoS: This will go exactly the way you think.

TLJ: “There is only one business in the galaxy that'll get you this rich.” “War.”

RoS: BIG EXPLOSIONS GO BOOM!

TLJ: “It's time for the Jedi to end.”

RoS: Nah Jedi cool.

TLJ: The real evil wasn’t Snoke, but a temptation within each of us.

RoS: The real evil wasn't Snoke, it was the Emperor! Wooo

TLJ: “I saved you... silly.” (Rose Tico)

RoS: Yeah, the idea of an Asian woman leading the resistance is too much for us too. She can sit this one out.

TLJ: “I've dealt with plenty of trigger happy flyboys like you... You are impulsive. Dangerous. And the last thing we need right now.”

RoS: Moar space battlez!!!!!!!!

That’s not to say it’s entirely bad. There are two positives: Babu Frik (obviously) and force texting. Kylo even loses his battle when his mom force texts him to bring home some milk from the grocery store.

Hello, I Babu Frik.

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