Matthias has written 9 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • Quantum of Solace

    Quantum of Solace

    ★½

    Just finished and I don’t remember a single goddamn thing that happened other than the fact that the opening theme slaps

  • Joker

    Joker

    ★½

    First things first: I’m not a believer in film or video games causing violence. Okay, that’s out of the way, so lets dive in. Joaquin (as much as it pains me to say) is really good, in fact all of the acting is good (save for one person...but that’s for another time). The score is phenomenal and it’s incredibly well shot. But my god, this film absolutely feels like it’s painting Joker as a hero, and it feels like we’re…

  • Avengers: Age of Ultron

    Avengers: Age of Ultron

    ★½

    *white noise* I still stand by it that this is a bad movie. It’s NOT good and it’s DAMN sure not underrated. Honestly I despise it more now. I think what annoys me most here is also what annoys me most with TDW in that when there is good, it doesn’t last long. Everything else is a mess and a slog to get through. 




    Clint Barton is the best part about this movie and I really love his story here.…

  • Thor: The Dark World

    Thor: The Dark World

    ★½

    Loki is easily the saving grace here (along with some expertise cinematography and beautiful visual effects) but all of that is SO good, it makes the bad even worse. Not the worst in the MCU as I’d previously thought (Incredible Hulk takes that honor) but it’s certainly damn close.

  • Alita: Battle Angel

    Alita: Battle Angel

    ★½

    You might ask me to show mercy on this movie but I have one thing to say about that:


    FUCK YOUR MERCY

  • Velvet Buzzsaw

    Velvet Buzzsaw

    ★½

    This was so *Jake Gyllenhaal voice* TRULY GOD DAMN DISAPPOINTING. Genuinely nothing but art talk is happening in the first hour and it’s not even interesting. The last 20 minutes are easily the best parts of the movie. The acting is fine, but every death that happens you can see from a mile away. Literally everyone I expected to die, died. Some cute lil cinematography and a cute lil foreshadowing happens. All around a pretty damn bleh movie, though. 


    *Also, John Malkovich has a better jump-shot than Ben Simmons*


    30/100

  • Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

    Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

    ★½

    I live for watching shit like this, I have a problem.

  • Terrifier

    Terrifier

    ★½

    Effectively creepy imagery, and Art is fucking terrifying, but everything else is so bad. But if you’re looking for some October movie-gory trash, this is your cup of tea. 



    45/100

  • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    ★½

    Haha, dear GOD