• Zodiac

    Zodiac

    As a zodiac-head it annoys me the movie centers almost completely on Greysmith's stuff and his obsession with Arthur Leigh Allen, who almost certainly was not the zodiac killer. From an artistic perspective, though, I respect using this as a jumping-off point for a script, one that exceptionally well-written. I particularly appreciate how the movie sort of tapers away at the end, in essentially the same way the Zodiac's killing spree and notoriety did. Fincher is always a personal favorite but he was on fire with this one.

  • Me You Madness

    Me You Madness

    Remember that there are millions of artists around the world languishing in impoverished obscurity and dying young who didn't win the "marry a rich evil person" lottery, and every single last one of them would write a less sophomoric, repugnant, ignorant and awful paean to self-indulgent arrogance than this woman did.

  • The Matrix

    The Matrix

    Joey pants is a dick

  • Joker

    Joker

    A comic-book movie that allowed me to ignore that it's a comic-book movie, and it gets extra stars just for that

  • Watchmen

    Watchmen

    Giving one of the most low-key, deconstructive and cerebral meditations on the nature of power and politics in the late Cold War era over to the director who made fucking 300 is one of cinema's foulest artistic crimes.

  • The Breakfast Club

    The Breakfast Club

    No breakfast consumed over its entire runtime. Bullshit

  • Army of Darkness

    Army of Darkness

    To a certain subset of people (like the ones I grew up with), this movie is rivaled only by Monty Python and the Holy Grail in the category of "full of lines you will never fucking forget because they were repeated every 5 seconds at your social gatherings". It deserves it, I guess.

  • Fatal Deviation

    Fatal Deviation

    ★★★★★

    WOT DA FOCK IS DIS

  • Bernie

    Bernie

    The senator from Vermont had some strange beginnings

  • The Boondock Saints

    The Boondock Saints

    This is the movie people who've never seen Tarantino movies think Tarantino movies are, except real - artless, tasteless, vapid, style-over-substance, violence-for-violence's sake crap. The Rocco character is probably the worst, an hour's worth of a guy trying desperately to become A Thing. We're not buying it.

  • The Iceman

    The Iceman

    Making a movie about an infamous hitman starring Michael Shannon this boring is almost accomplishment enough for me to give it a higher rating.

  • Avatar

    Avatar

    Technically impressive, otherwise astoundingly average. Extra points given for Cameron aggressively tearing apart and villainizing the "badass spaceman" cliche his earlier work helped solidify. It's hard to believe anyone thinks this is some kind of poignant critique of American imperialism, considering it's hardly any deeper in that aspect than.. any other movie ever made about a very bad evil empire suppressing plucky rebels. Star Wars does about as much to take down colonialism as this movie does.