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  • Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny

    Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny

    ★★★½

    This movie was a trip to watch. Old school Kung Fu movies always had the bad English dubs, so their mouths never matched what they were saying. This movie was filmed in English and dubbed into Mandarin, so it has the same problem but reversed. The fight choreography was slick but this movie had more of a Man with the Iron Fists feel to it for some reason. An entertaining watch that I wouldn't mind recommending to fans of Kung Fu movies.

  • The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)

    The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)

    What a shame, this might've actually been a part way decent black comedy if Dieter Laser wasn't constantly yelling at the top of his lungs throughout the movie. The gross humor will only appeal to certain audiences but the yelling makes it nearly impossible to sit through. I couldn't recommend this to anyone, even if you've enjoyed the previous installments.

  • Tusk

    Tusk

    ★★½

    I'm not sure why but I was expecting this to be a werewalrus film. The experience was so bizarre because your eyes are watching something that looks like Human Centipede but then you hear ridiculous dialogue like Michael Parks insisting that his victim become a walrus. I think I would've enjoyed a fun creature feature more but I have to give Kevin Smith credit for taking such a silly concept and playing it like a semi-serious horror movie.

  • Leprechaun: Origins

    Leprechaun: Origins

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I'm not going to act like the rest of the Leprechaun movies were some kind of high art but as with all franchises, there's an overarching continuity. Warwick Davis played the titular leprechaun in every movie except this one. He was always a nasty little fella that made corny jokes as he killed indiscriminately to retrieve his gold. In this new one, the leprechaun is a dumb snarling beast.

    I really watched this movie because they cast pro wrestler 'Hornswoggle'…

  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

    ★★★★

    YEAH!!! I, for one, was very excited to see dinosaurs back on the big screen. We've had giant robots fighting giant monsters in Pacific Rim and even another American Godzilla movie but it's nice to see good ol' fashioned dinosaurs... kinda. The real star of the show is the genetically modified Indominus Rex, which is spliced together from different animals. Due to this, Jurassic World has more of a monster movie feel to it than any of the other movies…

  • Late Phases

    Late Phases

    ★★★★

    I've heard a lot of complaints about how the werewolves in this movie look, I was a little thrown off by them at first too but I didn't have any expectations going into the film. By the time you get a good look at the werewolf, you're already supposed to be invested in the story of the bad ass blind war veteran. I can see how someone looking for a new movie to add to their werewolf movie marathon might…

  • Vampires: Out For Blood

    Vampires: Out For Blood

    ★★½

    This feels like a made-for-TV movie or an extended episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer... with some titties. Aside from that initial vampire orgy (where the aforementioned titties are seen) the rest of the movie is run of the mill. Cop gets bitten, no one believes him, his ex-wife (who happens to be an expert on vampires) tells him that he must kill the leader if he wants to live. If you're really in the mood for a vampire movie but can't find anything better to watch, this will do. There are definitely better movies out there though.

  • Frogs

    Frogs

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A swamp is polluted by toxic waste which, by horror movie rules, makes all the animals deadly. A man accidentally shoots himself in the leg trying to scare some birds away (dumb ass!) and is killed by tarantulas, a woman is attacked by leeches and bitten by a snake, someone is eaten by an alligator, another is killed by a snapping turtle, one guy dies in a greenhouse when a gila monster knocks over bottles of poison and he succumbs…

  • Once Upon a Time in Shanghai

    Once Upon a Time in Shanghai

    ★★★★½

    I usually complain about martial arts movies that overuse slow motion during fight scenes but this one does it right. Most of the fighting is faster paced with the most devastating blows shown in slow mo for emphasis. The main character punches this one dude so hard, I swear his colon must've exploded out of his anus. This wasn't explicitly shown or anything but I'm almost sure that's what happened. I also liked how the two main characters from vastly…

  • Bronson

    Bronson

    ★★★

    Supposedly based on a true story, this movie stars Tom Hardy as a raving lunatic who spent over 30 years of his life in prison. If you've ever wanted to see Bane from The Dark Knight Rises fight a bunch guards completely nude and covered in black paint while his willy flails about, then this movie is for you! Magnet Releasing included clips from this movie in a compilation showing off their martial arts movies line and I thought it would have more to do with bare knuckle boxing.

  • Fast & Furious 6

    Fast & Furious 6

    ★★★★★

    Packed with over-the-top action and self-referential jokes, this movie feels like it came right out of a comic book. Kinda like the Avengers if everyone's superpowers was cars. There was even a post-credit stinger setting up the next movie! The tone of these movies have gotten more ridiculous with each installment. In the last one, they tore up the streets of Brazil by towing a giant safe around with their cars. This time around they're up against a group of…

  • Avengers: Age of Ultron

    Avengers: Age of Ultron

    ★★★★★

    More laughs, more action, and well... more Avengers! While this was an excellent film that appropriately raises the stakes, introduces some important new characters, and shows how the team itself has grown, I just couldn't help seeing this film as a stepping stone for what they're building towards. That's not so much a criticism of the film, just my personal thoughts after seeing it. James Spader is fantastic as Ultron and we see the team doing their best despite the…