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  • Spider-Man: Far from Home

    Spider-Man: Far from Home

    ★★

    35

    I cannot stress this enough, and I don't say it lightly -- it's worse than Andrew Garfield.

  • Watch If You Dare

    Watch If You Dare

    Halloween Horror Bonus

    14

    I dared (for work purposes). I regretted.

    This is a C-movie-level anthology horror that's about as awful and amateurish as it gets. Most of the shorts go nowhere.

    The sole modicum of entertainment comes from 'Foodies,' the third short, which is somewhat entertaining in the most campy and ridiculous of ways. This is the one short where the awful acting is over-the-top enough to provide some entertainment. It's still not good, mind you, but it's fun to watch. Everything else is a waste of time. I mean, it's all a waste of time anyway.

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  • Slender Man

    Slender Man

    Just getting a head start on some reviews in case I'm feeling lazy in the coming weeks. It's been a tight terrible horror race this year. Between Insidious: The Last Key, Truth or Dare, and Unfriended, the "worst movie of the year" honor is gonna be hotly contested. And now we have this and The Nun to throw in the mix! A horror crapfest competition might be more exciting than the Oscars this year.

  • The Meg

    The Meg

    ★★

    36

    Rainn Wilson: *Begins to speak*

    Me: Let me stop you right there. Don't care. Get to Statham fighting big shark.
    ______

    Scientist: If I wire this we can divert power to the-

    Me: Let me stop you right there. Don't care. Get to Statham fighting big shark.
    ______

    Statham: I'm not crazy I'm telling you-

    Me: Do. Not. Care. Fight the shark!
    ______

    What feels like two full hours later: *Statham fights big shark*

    Me: Nice