Never Too Young to Die ★★★★★

This film stars Gene Simmons as Velvet Von Ragnar, a psychotic hermaphrodite terrorist with a nightclub act and a plan to poison the water supply whose only foe is teenage gymnast Lance Stargrove (complete with greatest opening credits theme song) played by John Stamos.

If that isn't the only convincing you need to justify my rating, I don't want to know you.

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