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  • Raw

    Raw

    ★★★★½

    Raw emits the same mood as the cow heart dissection in my 12th grade human anatomy class:

    staring at the wet mound of pale red flesh soak through the brown paper towel, i thought, "this is probably the only time you will ever touch a cow heart in your life,” in blinking neon letters. “you are not good at math and science. you will never pursue this as a career. this is it.”

    my lab partner was an actual, signed…

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  • Julie & Julia

    Julie & Julia

    ★★★½

    lemme tell ya the brat & brad movie will not be as feel-good inspirational fun as julie & julia. instead of cooking every julia child recipe, it’s thirst-watching every brad pitt movie — the only similarity they will share is that chris messina will star in both (he’s playing me)

  • Mr. Bean's Holiday

    Mr. Bean's Holiday

    ★★★

    we were supposed to see portrait of a lady on fire at 10:45pm but decided that was too late and returned the tickets. then we started mr. bean’s holiday at midnight

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  • Fight Club

    Fight Club

    ★★★★★

    first watch: fight club is the best movie ever made
    second watch: fight club is a deep commentary on the dangers of consumerism
    third watch: fight club is a disgusting cesspool of toxic masculinity and it’s not as deep as its fanboys think it is
    fourth watch: fight club is a critique of toxic masculinity and it’s deeper than its fanboys think it is
    fifth watch: fight club is the best satirical gay romcom ever made

  • Call Me by Your Name

    Call Me by Your Name

    ★★★★★

    these two bisexuals that look like they just stumbled out of their first vampire weekend concert really had the nerve to make me lay on my floor & cry while listening to sufjan stevens huh