Cats

unfortunately i did not hate this, and the key to that is to go in expecting plotless nonsense, and also to be pleasantly stoned. you must suspend every iota of disbelief. you must completely submit to the dancing hellcats.

once you do that, you’ll be able to recognize this as truly AUDACIOUS filmmaking, one of those miraculous absurdist experimental studio blockbusters that defied all odds and logic to come to fruition. i admire the bold choice to omit any traditional narrative structure, a move guaranteed to push the boundaries of what general audiences can tolerate. 

but i am NOT a general audience, because i unironically LOVE les mis (2012), so OH BABY i lapped it up like these Cats lapped up their Milk. me can have a little big-budget movie-musical train-wreck, as a treat :)

at this point i’d like to say that i didn’t expect to write this much about cats, but my brother just called it the worst movie of the decade and while i do think it is very bad (shout out to the senior citizen at my screening who walked out of the theater during james corden’s song) i think there have been many, many worse movies. 

at least this one is culturally valuable in the sense that we have all this unbelievable footage of rich celebrities being routinely humiliated, one after the other, for 110 minutes straight. they were paid more money than most of us will make in a lifetime to do this, and thus i think it is okay to laugh at them — they’ll be fine!

my truth is that this ultimately FUN and HARMLESS movie has brainwashed me into constantly singing the jellicle song to my cat (brad, the frat cat) even though i don’t know what any of it means. all i know is that skimbleshanks the railway cat actually fuckign rules and when i eventually become leader of the jellicle tribe you can count on me to crown him as the jellicle choice

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