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  • Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

    Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again


    WARNING: only for people who know how to appreciate the fine art of having fun!!!! if you’re boring, that’s totally okay — just buy a ticket for mamma mia! here we go again then see something else!! that way this escapist masterpiece (and colin firth’s career) is still supported PLUS you won’t harsh our karaoke dance party’s vibes :)

  • Eighth Grade

    Eighth Grade


    eighth grade posits that each generation may distinctly evolve with its own technology or social norms, but our one constant is that specific, marrow-deep mortification that comes with being 13. and that’s sort of comforting. 

    wait, scratch that, there’s one more constant: teen boys pulling that manipulative “truth or dare” move. this one is not as comforting :(

  • Mission: Impossible III

    Mission: Impossible III


    philip seymour hoffman, holding a gun: i have done nothing wrong ever in my entire life
    me: i know this and i love you

  • Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

    Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade


    (watched in glorious 70mm on harrison ford’s birthday)

    huh ... maybe god’s not dead after all .......

  • Mission: Impossible II

    Mission: Impossible II


    i respect the martial arts-style fight scenes too much to fully trash this movie

  • Solo: A Star Wars Story

    Solo: A Star Wars Story


    only agreed to see it again cause i’m a sucker for a chaotic neutral protagonist

  • Sorry to Bother You

    Sorry to Bother You


    the perfect movie to see after vaping in the movie theater bathroom. trust me, i’m an expert — i have done this at least 40 times and have never gotten caught, but maybe that’s just because i live in portland. so i’m passing on my knowledge with this step-by-step guide so you too can have the mind-blowing theater experience i did:

    1. buy a vape and a THC cartridge (HARDEST STEP FOR MANY, SORRY)
    2. go to the theater and…

  • Never Let Me Go

    Never Let Me Go


    really fascinating sci-fi premise, but romances with boring protagonists just don’t work for me, sorry! i’d rather watch the lobster for my dystopian romance fix

  • Opening Night

    Opening Night


    me on a date, describing my ultimate romantic fantasy: you write a leading role for me as a complex, unstable actress. you direct me in that role while also co-starring as my character’s love interest. even though the film struggles in the distribution stage and doesn’t receive the award recognition it deserves, we’re proud of it and are confident in the fact that it will be remembered as a masterpiece in the years to come. tragically, you die from cirrhosis…

  • A Very English Scandal

    A Very English Scandal


    hugh grant stop trying to murder paddington challenge

  • Boogie Nights

    Boogie Nights


    every time i rewatch this i draft a tweet that just says “boogie nights really do be the best movie ever made huh” but for some reason i never press tweet. i just keep drafting the same thing, over and over, cursed to live this existence of cowardice. in 250 years (assuming earth lasts that long), archaeologists will find my twitter drafts and spend their lives trying to decode the ancient text. “she’s written this 37 times,” they’ll say. “it…

  • Hearts Beat Loud

    Hearts Beat Loud


    (My review for Much Ado About Cinema -- a fantastic film blog where I am now a regular writer!!!)

    In a world inundated with films about angsty artists rebelling against their more traditional parents, Hearts Beat Loud is the breath of fresh air that we didn’t even know we needed. Yes, it’s another entry into the, “‘You’re giving up on your dream.’ ‘No, Dad. I’m giving up on yours,’” film canon, but with a welcome twist: 18-year-old Sam (Kiersey Clemons)…