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  • Chicken Little

    Chicken Little

    ★★½

    #BelieveChickens

  • Jane B. by Agnès V.

    Jane B. by Agnès V.

    ★★★★

    “if a painter or filmmaker wants to do my portrait, i don’t mind distortion.”

    using fantasy vignettes, expressionism, and endless creativity, agnès varda crafts a dreamy depiction of actress jane birkin that simultaneously explores the passionate relationship between women and their art while pushing the boundaries of what a ~biopic~ can be. i hesitate to even call this a biopic, because it’s so non-formulaic and really only centers on jane in her (respective) present. i suppose it’s more of a…

  • Julie & Julia

    Julie & Julia

    ★★★½

    lemme tell ya the brat & brad movie will not be as feel-good inspirational fun as julie & julia. instead of cooking every julia child recipe, it’s thirst-watching every brad pitt movie — the only similarity they will share is that chris messina will star in both (he’s playing me)

  • Mr. Bean's Holiday

    Mr. Bean's Holiday

    ★★★

    we were supposed to see portrait of a lady on fire at 10:45pm but decided that was too late and returned the tickets. then we started mr. bean’s holiday at midnight

  • Clue

    Clue

    ★★★½

    kinda twisted how there were three different endings shipped out to theaters. i’d be so pissed if i were one of the 66% who didn’t get Ending C, featuring the superlative closing line of “i’m gonna go home and sleep with MY WIFE”

  • Sonic the Hedgehog

    Sonic the Hedgehog

    ★★

    support group for everyone who went in for james marsden and came out #Horny4Eggman :(

  • Josie and the Pussycats

    Josie and the Pussycats

    ★★★★★

    my beautiful wife parker posey is giving the definitive campy villain performance and her role as flamboyant-but-deeply-insecure #GirlBoss should be studied at juilliard. and i’m not just saying that because she’s my beautiful wife!!

  • Happy Feet Two

    Happy Feet Two

    ★★

    when people first reported to me that brad pitt plays a gay krill in happy feet 2, i assumed they meant implicitly. like he’s extra flamboyant or he drinks iced coffee or he sees matt damon krill wearing his jacket and says “keep it, it suits you” before biting his tiny krill lip. 

    never would i have guessed that the gay krill representation would actually be explicit. the damon krill says “don't you long for the patter of a thousand tiny…

  • Punch-Drunk Love

    Punch-Drunk Love

    ★★★½

    the hushed, conspiratorial way that adam sandler raves about the pudding promotion seeming too good of a deal to be true is the same way i used to talk about moviepass (RIP) </3

  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    ★★★★★

    do all lovers feel they’re inventing something?

    the clandestine stealing of forbidden glances. the thankless task of trying to tamp a lover’s image into the folds of your brain. the dread of said image’s inevitable fading. the smoldering slow-burn of impossible yearning, and the explosive fireworks when it’s finally reciprocated. the sizzling sound of a final farewell.

    director céline sciamma packs each frame with tangible emotion, and she does it all without a manipulative score. we know exactly what to…

  • Mr. Bean's Holiday

    Mr. Bean's Holiday

    ★★★

    mr. bean is directly responsible for multiple deaths AND the blowing up of mr. willem dafoe — he has blood on his hands that shall never be cleansed

  • Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

    Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

    ★★★★

    you give mary elizabeth winstead a crossbow and a motorcycle, ewan mcgregor a moulin rouge! shout out and a blue velvet suit, chris messina a platinum blonde buzzcut and some truly deranged dialogue, and harley quinn a legitimate voice, and i will give my first ever ❤️ to a superhero movie. 


    had to take a 3 mile walk afterwards because i was so jacked on the Power of Women and Ewan Saying “EWWW” — cathy yan when i get locked up for excessive high-kicking the bail is on you!!!