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  • Surf's Up

    Surf's Up

    ★★★★★

    “i didn’t think it would be bad, but ... i didn’t think it would be good”
    “i’ll just say i’m pleasantly surprised” 
    “two thumbs up”
    “not enough girl penguin surfers. that’s my one critique”
    “was there a whole scene implying that the mean penguin fucks his trophies or did i hallucinate that”
    - rave testimonials from my friends after i made them watch this with me last night

  • Metropolitan

    Metropolitan

    ★★★½

    a jane austen novel repurposed for new york yuppies (or, Urban Haute Bourgeoisie), right down to the eloquently structured dialogue and the delicious slow-burn romance. no pride & prejudice hand flex, though :/

  • Wish Upon

    Wish Upon

    any movie that makes me laugh til i cry is culturally valuable

  • A Bug's Life

    A Bug's Life

    ★★★½

    i just think it’s funny how there are three (3) sexy girl bugs and zero (0) sexy boy bugs. this is an abysmal problem plaguing the animation industry and i for one will not rest until Sexy Bug Equality is achieved. flik should’ve been sexy *drops mic*

  • The Last Days of Disco

    The Last Days of Disco

    ★★★★

    pretty realistic post-grad movie except for the part where they all have jobs and enough disposable income to disco in NYC every night

  • Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

    Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

    ★★★★

    reason #4729583 to buy mamma mia! here we go again on blu-ray and dvd: you can laugh out loud in the comfort of your own home when pierce brosnan sings his sad remix of SOS without worry of ruining the experience for the other theater patrons and publicly disrespecting pierce, who is simply doing his best with the material given. can you imagine being given a script that says you’re to sing SOS again, after every critic alive trashed you…

  • Airplane!

    Airplane!

    ★★★★★

    y’all remember watching this for the first time as a kid and stifling a meltdown when the bare Tiddies came onscreen

  • Daredevil

    Daredevil

    paid $3.99 to rent the 133-minute-long director’s cut. don’t ever question the lengths i will go to support colin farrell’s career.

  • Dreamscape

    Dreamscape

    ★★½

    the letterboxd poster heavily implies that this is an indiana jones rip-off, and in some ways, it is! for example:
    -dennis quaid = harrison ford lite
    -kate capshaw, wife of stephen spielberg and worst part of temple of doom (which also came out in 1984), is the Passive Love Interest
    -there's a Kid who only exists so our Hero can be fatherly to him, causing the Love Interest to think, "huh, maybe this guy is more sensitive than i thought!…

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "Ah, Lacan!"

    out of all the gruesome, unforgettable images whirling around in my head after seeing Suspiria on halloween, i keep coming back to this offhand comment made by dr. klemperer. it's a bit difficult to tell if his, "Ah, Lacan!" is sneering or impressed, if the doctor rejects or regards the controversial french psychologist's work. either way, there is definite validity in applying it to the film, especially since directer luca guadagnino comes from an academic background.

    so let's…

  • Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

    Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

    will someone please, PLEASE add this to the criterion collection?? i even drafted  a blurb for the back cover for you:

    in this surrealist arthouse masterwork, provocateur auteurs tim & eric excavate and explore the incessant grime festering underneath the glitzy false promises of capitalism. jam-packed with cameos from the duo’s cult classic television program, Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, it’s none other than jeff goldblum who gives the stand out performance in the stunning, revelatory role of chef goldblum.…

  • Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

    Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

    ★★★★

    at one point i was so bombarded by the amount of simpsons references i was suddenly understanding that i physically felt my intellectual transformation from tiny brain to galaxy brain