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brat has written 13 reviews for films rated .

  • Bohemian Rhapsody

    Bohemian Rhapsody

    let’s pretend for a second that this movie wasn’t mostly directed by a pedophile (this is the only time i’ll ever ask you to forget this critical fact. please remember again when specified. thanks in advance!). 


    yes, let’s look at bohemian rhapsody completely devoid of its controversial cultural context. just for a moment. let’s purely analyze it from a technical point of view. 

    the editing is disorienting (in an amateurish unawareness of physical space way, not a purposefully artistic and…

  • My Teacher, My Obsession

    My Teacher, My Obsession

    from the netflix description: “When Riley changed schools, she didn't expect the girls to crush on her English teacher dad.”

    really? your dad looks like THIS and you didn’t expect a room full of horny pubescents to crush on him? AND he teaches ENGLISH, the objectively sexiest high school subject? this guy isn’t even close to my physical type (i am very small and muscles scare me) but if i were back in high school he’d be the only thing…

  • Wish Upon

    Wish Upon

    any movie that makes me laugh til i cry is culturally valuable

  • Daredevil

    Daredevil

    paid $3.99 to rent the 133-minute-long director’s cut. don’t ever question the lengths i will go to support colin farrell’s career.

  • Olaf's Frozen Adventure

    Olaf's Frozen Adventure

    really diggin disney’s new strategy of making moviegoers watch this Hwite Mess so that they can truly appreciate just how much more creative + beautiful + meaningful Coco is than a snowman dickin around for 22 minutes

  • Opening Night

    Opening Night

    yeah this was bad & i only watched it for topher grace (let me live!) but i admit the line “i heard JC from N*SYNC got with all the girls on the mickey mouse club first. britney, christina, keri russell.. ryan gosling’s mom” made me laugh out loud for a solid 5 seconds

  • The Doom Generation

    The Doom Generation

    only thing keeping this absolute trainwreck from a half star rating is parker posey's 2 minute cameo as a heart-shaped sunglasses-wearing lesbian

  • Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

    Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

    ... it was playing on tv & im so dedicated to jacob b gyllenhaal that i actually watched a whole half hour of this whitewashed mess. the only reason it's not a half star rating is because jake got chased by ostriches which was pretty funny lmao

  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    film professor: i want you to pay close attention to hugh jackman's body
    me: ok i guess :)

  • Life's a Jungle: Africa's Most Wanted

    Life's a Jungle: Africa's Most Wanted

    can't believe that literally only 15 people have watched this movie ive seen it like 7 times it's so ridiculously funny & my fav animated dog movie

  • Zapped

    Zapped

    i watched this after watching the oscars (congrats brie larson!) and honestly? i loved the first hour of this. i love that there's the quirky best friend who always wears a hat & the mean blonde girl who snaps all the time & the millions of plot holes. im not being sarcastic i genuinely had a good time (disclaimer: i was stoned out of my mind)

  • The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

    The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

    my friends and i put this on in the background and accidentally watched the whole thing. we were so high