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brat has written 34 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Morning Glory

    Morning Glory


    big mistake here was mis-casting jeff goldblum as the mean boss. as if his entire being doesn't exude Cool Boss Energy. as if he wouldn't insist his workplace partakes in Smooth Jazz Fridays where he brings his alto sax and improvises a jaunty tune for his employees. and he doesn't even play sax -- he plays piano -- but it's too difficult to lug a grand piano that meets his standards up to the 34th floor so he just plays…

  • Jigsaw



    this is the only franchise where bad letterboxd reviews do not deter me in the slightest. 

    it does not matter how low the rating goes as long as the gore pops off” — ancient jigsaw proverb

  • Dumbo



    completely forgettable aside from the 5 seconds where colin farrell slaps dumbo’s ass and says “come on, Big D!” — such a clever homage to his directorial debut!

  • From Dusk Till Dawn

    From Dusk Till Dawn


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    solid 1/2 star for the first hour but then the vampires show up and suddenly IT RUUUUUULES! oh man the vampire bar fight rules so hard. but does it rule hard enough to cancel out the fact that tarantino had the HUBRIS to write himself a scene where he sucks dripping beer off of salma hayek’s bare feet? not even!!!

  • Source Code

    Source Code


    Jake Gyllenhaal,
    Break Up With Your Agent, I’m Bored (of soldier roles)

  • Sin City

    Sin City


    please just let me find ONE ultraviolent neo-noir that isn’t soaked in misogyny please please PLEASE i’m BEGGING

  • At Any Price

    At Any Price


    this is just high school musical but basketball is modern agriculture and racecar driving is theater and troy is a cheater/murderer and coach bolton is farmer dennis quaid and the only song the cast sings is the entirety of the national anthem. so i guess it’s not actually that much like high school musical 

  • Suburbicon



    the 5 minutes of screen time that julianne moore & oscar isaac shared: great! 👍🏽⭐️💯☺️
    the other 99 minutes: bad! 👎🏽💣❌😴

  • Troy



    (watched the 3 hour 16 minute director’s cut)

    i really thought that troy was the name of brad pitt’s character until halfway through this movie. even after finishing it i still think his name is troy and nothing you say can change my mind — it’s not my fault that my generation has been socialized to think of troy as the name of a singing basketball player instead of the old ass greek city!!

  • Stronger



    all 2 of these stars are for extending the Jake Gyllenhaal Crying in the Shower Cinematic Universe

  • The Twilight Saga: New Moon

    The Twilight Saga: New Moon


    the only part of this jacob-centric movie that matters is the last 40 minutes when bella flies to italy to stop edward from taking off his shirt in front of everyone. this is a real plot point & it's absolutely incredible

    (also did we ever confirm that rob pattinson's abs were painted on for that scene? i truly don't mind if they were fake i just want to know the truth)

  • Chaplin



    ~plus one star for the random david duchovny cameo
    ~minus one star for the random james woods cameo. didn't he date a 19 year old when he was 60.........?