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brat has written 119 reviews for films rated ★★★ .

  • Blinded by the Light

    Blinded by the Light


    initially avoided this because the title made it sound like one of those christian propaganda movies starring, like, dennis quaid and a golden retriever named John 3:16. it’s not, obviously!! it’s an english-pakastani ballad to springsteen that emphasizes how the significance of a song’s lyrics are crucial, life-changing even! sometimes being wrong is both Fun and Good :) 

    (also, javed’s instant adulation of springsteen exactly mirrors how i felt as a sad teen who just discovered lana del rey. “Born to Die” is MY “Born to Run”)

  • Where'd You Go, Bernadette

    Where'd You Go, Bernadette


    my gf parker posey could’ve saved this movie and i wrote about why for Much Ado About Cinema:

    Throughout the entire runtime, I found myself unable to stop thinking about the woefully underrated Parker Posey. A passage from her (admittedly not great) 2018 memoir, You’re On An Airplane, came to mind in particular. Posey had worked with Richard Linklater in the past on Dazed and Confused (1993), and she’d remained in touch with him over the years. During the New…

  • The Kitchen

    The Kitchen


    (Extended version of my review for Willamette Week)

    Melissa McCarthy, Elisabeth Moss, and Tiffany Haddish star as three Irish mob wives who are left penniless and desperate when their criminal husbands are sent to prison. To survive the grittiness of 1978 Hell’s Kitchen, they pick up where their spouses left off, and find they’re even more skilled at the fine art of organized crime. Utilizing their traditionally feminine proclivities for strategic communication and vulpine manipulation, the trio savor their ascension.…

  • Crawl



    i have the same opinion on these alligators as i do the xenomorphs from Alien: they’re doing absolutely nothing wrong as long as the protagonist’s cute animal companion survives <3

  • Men in Black: International

    Men in Black: International


    (Extended version of my review for Willamette Week)

    Look, it’s fine if you go into it simply to gaze at hot people in tailored suits hanging out and fighting with aliens. On that front, you’re covered. On most other fronts, well…

    This spin-off of the Men In Black series, which was originally supposed to be a 21 Jump Street crossover, centers on Molly (Tessa Thompson), a brilliant hacker who harbors both the burning passion for truth of Mulder and the…

  • Lick the Star

    Lick the Star


    sofia coppola has always, from the very beginning of her career, understood the sole fundamental truth about women and girls: We Be Poisoning <3

  • Always Be My Maybe

    Always Be My Maybe


    maybe relying on the ability to secure a famous cameo to make your movie memorable is, from a critical standpoint, lazy writing. HOWEVER: who among us would not absolutely 100% no hesitation do the exact same thing if provided with the budget and the keanu?

  • Water for Elephants

    Water for Elephants


    can’t really think of a real reason to watch this other than the just-crazy-enough-to-work circus love triangle between robert pattinson, reese witherspoon, and christoph waltz. but to be fair that’s a DAMN GOOD reason

  • Zog



    i can't log fleabag so i googled "watch zog 2018 free" and sat through this entire 27-minute dragon animation featuring the voice talent of fleabag and mamma mia! here we go again co-star hugh skinner just to have a viable outlet to say hello i'm watching (and loving) fleabag!!!!!!

  • Unicorn Store

    Unicorn Store


    this was a cute and harmless way to spend 92 minutes! :)

    anyway, i’m glad my favorite tv actor hamish linklater is getting work. that’s okay if you don’t recognize the name; i’ve been quietly obsessed with him since 2006 and only learned it a full decade later when he popped up in the big short. i was like “hey! that’s that tv actor i heavily repressed my feelings for when i was a weird middle schooler and still kind…

  • The Aftermath

    The Aftermath


    as it so often goes with keira knightley period pieces that aren’t atonement or pride & prejudice, you’ll feel the same way about this one as you feel about all the others! just like the aftermath, i’m solidly neutral, but i gotta give it props for combining two of my most cherished tropes into the ULTIMATE: 

    Angsty Dad chops firewood to Cope 
    Woman gazes longingly out window at Sexy Guy doing Sexy Yardwork
    Woman gazes longingly out window at Sexy Dad chopping firewood to Sexy Cope 

  • Horror Show

    Horror Show


    timothée chalamet as a cannibal ... i’m .... malfunctioning ....... 🥵🥵🥵