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  • Full Metal Jacket

    Full Metal Jacket

    ★★★½

    I haven't seen this from start to finish in about 20 years, mostly because I always felt that the first section is so good, that as soon as it's over, all the energy drains from the movie and it never fully recovers. After this rewatch, that opinion has only solidified. It's funny, I must have watched the first 40 minutes of this a million times when I was 13 or something, because I still recalled nearly every line verbatim (meanwhile,…

  • Pump up the Volume

    Pump up the Volume

    ★★★½

    Kind of all over the place, trying to do too many things at once without the time to do them. But even if certain individual elements don't really work, it all coalesces into an entertaining and memorable slice of 1990's teen angst. It's the kind of movie I love, where it's specifically dated in a lot of ways (the soundtrack, all those mullets!) but forever universal in its characters and themes (rebellious teens are never going away). That it's an…

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  • Krampus

    Krampus

    ★★★★

    Perfectly recaptures the mid-80's Amblin spirit of something like Gremlins. That film is the closest and most obvious comparison, but it's still an apt one, and if that kind of film is what you are hoping for, then Krampus does not disappoint. This is the rarest of breeds: a PG-13 horror comedy that is both funny and yet still brutal and horrific. PG-13 horror movies tend to be toothless, but Krampus more than makes up for a lack of literal…

  • Walking With Dinosaurs

    Walking With Dinosaurs

    Agonizingly, shockingly awful. The effects might be pretty good, but everything surrounding them is a heaping pile of shit. The movie is less about watching a bunch of dinosaurs do dinosaur things and more about John Leguizamo cracking anachronistic jokes. "Worst. Migration. Ever." "You just got served!" "Go back to Turkey town!" These are all things that are said by dinosaurs. Uuugggghhhh this movie was just so fucking bad I can't even believe it.

    Click HERE for my full review.