Providing nonsensical, grammatically incorrect, insanely wack opinions on movies since 2019.

Favorite films

  • Back to the Future
  • Mallrats
  • Dazed and Confused
  • Point Break

Recent activity

  • Edward Scissorhands


  • Just Friends


  • Uncle Buck


  • Batman Returns


Recent reviews

  • Edward Scissorhands

    Edward Scissorhands


    Back when the only thing Johnny Depp had to worry about was popping a water bed, not someone pooping in his bed.

  • Just Friends

    Just Friends


    “Look at her. She’s having a good time. She’s got her toothpaste.”

    Some funny moments, a good soundtrack (“Hackensack” by Fountains of Wayne and “Into Your Arms” by The Lemonheads are my two favorites in the movie), and a good holiday season vibe - but this has aged very poorly. This movie definitely encouraged the “friend zone” mindset for dudes who don’t know how to talk to women.

Popular reviews

  • Clerks III

    Clerks III

    2012 me: "Wow, I can't believe Clerks III will be Kevin Smith's final film! Bittersweet, but I'm excited for it!"

    2014 me: "Wow, I just watched 'Tusk' which was enjoyable but weird - now Kevin is planning to do Mallrats 2 instead of Clerks III. I love Mallrats, I can't wait!"

    2017 me: "We didn't get Mallrats 2 but we got 'Yoga Hosers'... okay. Now Kevin is going to do a reboot of Jay and Silent Bob?! Great, I hope…

  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    Christmas 1998: My mom thought it would be a good idea to gift the 1995 movie "Mortal Kombat" to my brother (age 9) and I (age 6). When the opening credits appeared and the music started rolling - we were jump kicking each other from the living room couch and coffee table, punching the shit out of each other, and just generally going buck wild. Needless to say, my mom took the VHS tape away from us until we promised…