• Twin Peaks: The Return

    Twin Peaks: The Return


    Me: "Man, what is The White Lodge doing while The Black Lodge is running rampant over the Earth, all collecting its garmboza?"

    Cut To: The Fireman and The Opera Lady vibing hard to Beach House for 500 years.

  • Come Back to the 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean
  • Black Widow

    Black Widow


    The thing is, i had actually been looking forward to this one. I have Kevin Durant like feelings for Scarlett Johansson and more to the point i thought a that a bizarre Metal Gear Solid spy fy flick would be something really fun that they could do without "spoiling the brand". Just give me assassins with ridiculous names and tragic backstory. Find out if love can bloom on the battle field. Have Rachel Weisz break the fourth wall and tell…

  • First Reformed

    First Reformed


    *In best Bill Cypher voice*,

    "Thomas Merton was murdered by the CIA! OKAY BYE!!!"

  • Rumble Fish

    Rumble Fish


    What Brian Fallon sees whenever he closes his eyes.

    Totally based.

    Given that Diane Lane was in this, Streets Of Fire and The Snyder Cut i'm beginning to think she single handedly warps reality into hyper resonance.

  • Vincent & Theo

    Vincent & Theo


    It ia actual thought crime that The Player receives more attention and regard than this (not just that, fucking Dr. T and The Women has more views. The fuck is wrong with you letterboxd)

    Loses points for nevet having Van Gogh declare that, "the sky compells me to paint."

  • The Black Phone

    The Black Phone


    *Opening shot of "the crush" holding a bottle of Crush*

    Me, "Ooh boy. This is really gonna be Cargilled up, ain't it?"

    Commits various sins, like lifting two songs whole cloth from The Dazed And Confused soundtrack like we aren't going to fucking notice.

    But I can forgive a lot for snapping Joe Hill's streak of adaptions that are just fucking terrible.

    I was skeptical when the project was announced, unsure how you'd expand a ten page story that its…

  • The Godfather

    The Godfather


    When i was twelve i watched this for the first time, and the sheer stark terror i felt upon seeing the mats of fur on Caan's shoulders and realizing i was staring down the barrel of something related will forever be imprinted on me.

    Call it simple and dumb but Caan is always goimg to be part of my conception of masculinity for that reason.

    RIP, you were the man.

  • The Big Chill

    The Big Chill


    This actually makes a very good double feature with The Breakfast Club.

    This is officially the whitest sentence ever typed. If not the whitest sentence conceivable.

    The only thing that could make the internet hate this more is if Lena Dunham wrote an essay defendin-ohhhhhhh....

    Anyway, deserves a positive rating if only for the way Hurt delivers the line, "That's probably why he killed himself."

  • The Breakfast Club

    The Breakfast Club


    That smash cut from the Bowie quote is fucking hilarious.

  • Licorice Pizza

    Licorice Pizza


    Two of my favorite songs are Sufjan Steven's "Futile Devices" and "John My Beloved".

    They're both songs about the way that platonic, romantic and fraternal love can bleed into each other. Which I think is something that happens to us more than we'd like to admit. Personally speaking when my affection for someone is strong enough, no matter what kind of affection it started as, there tends to be some blur around the edges. I'm not saying this is a…

  • Dune



    Credit where it's du(n)e this feels like a movie. Not a filmed wikipedia summary, achieving what no other adaptation has come close to achieving. All while being visually arresting as one would say.

    On the other hand, it definitely feels like half a movie and it feels weird to even vauguely pretend it doesn't.

    In other news film Messiah or stop wasting our time and gtfo you cowards.