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  • Crank: High Voltage

    Crank: High Voltage

    ★★½

    This hits ridiculous levels of tomfoolery, but from a pure "only as a sequel" lens, it's super fascinating.

    God awful for sure, but there's a random Kaiju sequence here, an even better sex scene, fun callbacks, and also a dude named Randy that rocks a mullet 100% like mine used to look like.

    Still super frenetic, bonkers, sexy, brooding, and a perfect slice of what your brain on drugs is like.

  • Castle in the Sky

    Castle in the Sky

    I can't believe Disney did the Beek from the Creek like this... I mean, Anna Paquin and Mark Hamill too, but what a bad dub.

    Seriously laughable voice direction - I refuse to rate until I see it again in Japanese

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  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

    Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I seriously can't believe Warner Brothers put a film about a messiah figure dying then being resurrected out on Easter weekend.

    Takes the term "American Gods" to a whole new level.

  • Suicide Squad

    Suicide Squad

    ★★★

    Welcome to the sideshow act of the DC Extended Universe where The Joker is butchered and pop classics are sprinkled so throughly throughout that they lose all sonic sensibility.

    And yet I gave it 3 stars.

    There's plenty wrong with this film, but its not a bad one (just like the antiheroes at play here). The ensemble is mostly great especially Margot Robbie, Will Smith, and Jay Hernandez; however, they can't save Jared Leto from unleashing the worst interpretation of…