"When you don't wanna feel, death can seem like a dream. But seeing death — really seeing it — makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous."
It's hard to cope with the fact that sometimes feelings are so hurtful that having actual external scars for your whole life doesn't seem like such an stupid idea while you're making them. There's no way around, that's an irrefutable and explicit form to externalize so much pain. There's nothing so horrible as getting anywhere close to the darkest place again once you've come out of it.