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  • Hoffa

    Hoffa

    ★★★½

    i ate a banana and washed it down with vodka while watching this. Fucksakes.

  • Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead

    Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead

    ★★★★

    I haven't cringed this much since I re-read the mafia movie script I wrote when I was 11.

    Did Sam Hyde direct this?

    Jarmusch already used that song. Stop it.

    romantic subplot to this is like dicks in my eyes dicks in my ears dicks in my rear dicks in my mouth dicks in the west dicks in the south

    Andy Garcia is too annoying to look at to be a leading man. You're not Al Pacino, dude.

    Did he…

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  • Magnolia

    Magnolia

    ★★★★★

    "Flower Power"

    A Big Titted Analysis

    Everyone loved Paul Thomas Anderson’s melodrama-opera, “Magnolia”, back in 1999, except Kevin Smith, but fuck that guy because he hasn’t made a good film since “Dogma” as far as I know. I haven’t seen “Red State”, so maybe I shouldn’t say that, but still fuck him because he has a different opinion than mine. Everyone who has seen the film undoubtedly were awestruck and appreciated it for all the right reasons (the acting, the…

  • The Grey

    The Grey

    ★★★★★

    "Transience"

    An Analysis

    Why would a man, whose entire existence has been stripped down until there is almost nothing left (a man seriously contemplating suicide) end up fighting for his very survival?

    INTRODUCTION

    From the first shot, director Joe Carnahan signals the immensity of nature. The camera pans across trees and mountains using a low shot. Clouds slowly drift across. Wolves howl. No humans. No evidence of civilization. It's miraculous. Then, the camera cuts to an oil refinery. Pipes and…