Favorite films

  • Hard Boiled
  • Total Recall
  • Je, Tu, Il, Elle
  • Imitation of Life

Recent activity

All
  • Uncharted

    ★★½

  • Mission: Impossible III

    ★★★½

  • Spiderhead

    ★★½

  • Licorice Pizza

    ★★★★½

Recent reviews

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  • Uncharted

    Uncharted

    If they're going to persist in calling it "intellectual property," then I'm going to intellectualize:

    This movie is a pleasant surprise, albeit a very mild version of both words, in that it manages a breezy, affable tone and it only kind of sucks. It also shares a characteristic, increasingly prevalent, of many "intellectual property" adaptations, namely that the references to the original property are a mile wide, but an inch deep.

    No duh, you doubtlessly reply, it's a bullshit cash-in,…

  • Mission: Impossible III

    Mission: Impossible III

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    When Tom Cruise fucks up PSH at the end with the bomb in his head, it reminded me of the time I was acting in a play and a migraine kicked in immediately after places were called. Tom Cruise may have killed the bad guy, but I killed *it* in a room full of Czech dignitaries. I mean, you can call that barely relevant or a stretch or delusions of grandeur if you want, but have you considered that the cinema is a window into the soul?

Popular reviews

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  • Gotti

    Gotti

    Until I was ten, my dad's main source of income was from bartending, and for several years in that period he worked at a place in Downtown Brooklyn that was a brisk walk from the borough's various courthouses. This is relevant for two reasons: the main one is a prize anecdote starring my dad's friend and coworker Jimmy, wherein during a particularly busy day at the restaurant John Gotti and retinue came in seeking strong drink and a bite to…

  • Tenet

    Tenet

    ★★★★★

    To properly explain myself I have to start many years ago. When I was 18, my second year in college, I took a fiction writing workshop taught by a well-known novelist who shall remain nameless here (mainly because if she remembers me at all, any mention of my name probably elicits a "Jesus Christ....him"). I was very excited at the prospect of getting my future storied career as A Very Serious Writer underway, and as such I was more than…