Chris has written 6 reviews for films rated ★½ during 2020.

  • Mary Poppins Returns

    Mary Poppins Returns


    Another belated 'sequel' cut from the same cloth as The Force Awakens which is ''let's just do an inferior beat for beat remake with modern updates and pray that the audience is so blinded by nostalgia that they simply accept it''.

    Outside of some pretty visuals this a slog to get through; full of contrived whimsical moments, forgettable songs and shoddy direction from Rob Marshall. Nothing really works on the character front either, from Emily Blunt's stifled central performance to…

  • How the Grinch Stole Christmas

    How the Grinch Stole Christmas


    I'll give props to Jim Carrey whose witty delivery and boundless energy makes a small amount of this work, but my word is this an unpleasant experience overall. The grimy colours, the obnoxious camera angles, the drab production design, the gloomy tone; it all combines to make this feel less like a fun festive film and more like an unnerving fever dream after you've drank too much eggnog.

    Expanding the source material doesn't work as it results in the addition…

  • Forrest Gump

    Forrest Gump


    The more I scrutinise Forrest Gump, the more I find myself totally perplexed by what it is trying to achieve.

    It is both monotonous and insipid. Forrest luckily stumbles into something he can mindlessly do, becomes successful, meets some famous people and reunites with Jenny who runs away after a short period. Rinse and repeat throughout the entire film. It's no wonder this appeals to boomers so much, it's effectively an empty guide to the United States in the late…

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales


    Overly substandard, but not quite as aggressively dull as On Stranger Tides because there are at least a few cool set-pieces and visuals this time around. Yet so much of this film just feels uninspired, from the plot which is like a video game side quest to the exposition-laden dialogue to the inept attempts at comedy. The new leads are irritatingly bland, Javier Bardem is given nothing of interest to work with and it's morbidly impressive how much Johnny Depp is phoning it in as Jack Sparrow.

    How I wish this series had started and ended with Verbinski's trilogy.

  • V for Vendetta

    V for Vendetta


    The type of film you think is profound when you're 15, but as soon as you mature you realise it has the depth of a summer puddle. Alan Moore's graphic novel about facism and anarchy in Britain has been turned into an insipid allegory on Bush-era America. It offers little insight beyond 'the government is bad and doesn't like to be undermined', with the plot just an excuse to make vacuous political statements and stage some plodding action scenes. Everything…

  • The Day Shall Come

    The Day Shall Come


    A bizarre misfire from Chris Morris. Most importantly it just isn't funny (barely raising more than a couple of smirks from me) with bland dialogue and characters. The satirical elements felt both obvious and extremely shallow, and despite the relevant themes very little of note is done with them. Feels more like an insipid imitation of Morris than the real thing.