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  • The Lego Batman Movie

    The Lego Batman Movie

    ★★★★

    Roses are red,
    Lego is square,
    The tickets cost me over thirty quid because the only screening left at the time available were in the "It's Not IMAX But It's Still Fuckin' Big" room,
    It's lucky this movie was good.

  • Goodnight Mommy

    Goodnight Mommy

    ★★★½

    Well this trailer was a fuckin' lie.

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  • Mars Attacks!

    Mars Attacks!

    ★★★★

    It's like Independence Day if it shit itself.

  • Detention

    Detention

    ★★★★½

    For the first fifteen minutes it's unwatchable. I mean properly. It's almost like some sort of endurance test. "Think you're tough, do you? Think you're HARD? BAM, THE MOST ANNOYING OPENING TO A MOVIE, EVER." It's just a barrage of bleating and overly-cute camera work and annoying, annoying, ANNOYING characters. I was this close to turning it off. I had the remote in my hand at least twice.

    But then something happens. It's hard to describe. It's like the movie…