The Big Short ★½

This is the most try-hard edgy piece of shit I've seen since Natural Born Killers. The characters are constantly talking to the screen and it's absolutely LOADED with "cool guy" jokes which are never once funny and blaring pop music montages. This is the goddam Entourage of prestige pictures. Utter shit.

One of the funniest things about it is how many of the women in the film are strippers, another handful are corporate yes-men, and then the remainders are these moronic celebrity cameos to explain something in a faux-edgy way to the audience. Ex, "Here's Margot Robbie in a bubble bath to explain sub-prime! Here's Selena Gomez to explain synthetic CDOs!" FUCK OFF! The only even remotely positive woman in this film is "Steve Carrell's Wife," as in her only function is to be supportive towards him.

If I want to watch yuppie male idiots try to take on a bunch more male yuppie idiots, I'll just watch American Psycho. Miles Teller and his buddy are the most heinous of the bunch, but essentially everyone in this film is awful, and unlike Wolf of Wall Street, I think we're actually supposed to like these tools. The climax is "tension music" playing while we watch to see if our heroes will get rich off their betting against the public, or if they'll lose everything!! Just a revolting film. Of course, in the last 20 minutes, it tries and pretends to be moralistic by making the characters all get really upset about the plight of the common man (represented entirely by one family which is glimpsed twice in the film, and some news footage of tents). It naturally gives us tons of sad bankers leaving their offices, though, cut together with the tents. They're the real victims here, man.

1/2 star for using Blood and Thunder prominently, and another 1 cause I didn't hate Steve Carrell or Christian Bale.