• The Fifth Element

    The Fifth Element

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Extremely goofy and over the top in the best way possible. You shouldn’t take this film too seriously. The plot is cliche, and the ending declaration that “love” is the Fifth Element is so corny and expected that I would have been disappointed if it turned out differently. But I really like the world building and creativity in the set design and props. I don’t know how much of a cult classic this is, but it deserves it.

  • Moonage Daydream

    Moonage Daydream

    Watched this at the wrong time. Was dead tired and kept falling asleep in the cinema. I got about 40 or so minutes in and then gave in to my ever growing heavy eyelids. It’s very well made and the visuals were stunning. But even at 2 hours 15 it’s very long and drags.
    I wouldn’t say I have truly experienced this film and even so, I can’t see myself going back to rewatch it properly.

  • East of Eden

    East of Eden

    ★★★★

    Gorgeous looking with a great James Dean performance. It’s very unsubtle and on the nose, though.

  • The Fly

    The Fly

    ★★★★

    Fantastic special effects and fun performance from Jeff Goldblum. “I am brundlefly”

  • The Sixth Sense

    The Sixth Sense

    ★★★★½

    I originally had this at an 8, but in the week since I’ve seen it, I can’t stop thinking about the car scene with Haley Joel Osment and Toni Collette. It’s the most perfectly acted, written, and directed scene I have ever seen from M Night. It alone bumps this movie to a 9. It’s honestly kinda silly that he hasn’t been able to make anything nearly as good as this in the 20 odd years it’s been since it came out.

  • The Nice Guys

    The Nice Guys

    ★★★½

    2nd watch

    The noir plot line is very accurate to the genre. There’s lot of ins and outs and interested parties. And it has enough intrigue to string the audience along. I think besides that, though, when Shane Black tries to have genuine character building moments it falls flat. Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling work very well together. They bounce jokes off each other and it’s fun to watch. But they really try to make you care and sympathise with them and I don’t think it fully works.

  • Chained for Life

    Chained for Life

    ★★★½

    Ever so slightly disappointed that Adam Pearson is just an ok actor. In this movie, anyway. I don’t know why I expected to be blown away.

  • Do Revenge

    Do Revenge

    ★★

    Shit script. Tries to be clever at some many points and fails. Maya Hawke is a great actress and has good chemistry with Camila Mendes. Their dynamic is the only thing worth watching for.

  • Blonde

    Blonde

    ★★★½

    Far too long. Near the end the movie feels as if it’s going to end so many different times. There’s a fair few scenes that are quite repetitive and drone on. But I think this is a beautiful looking movie, with great direction and an amazing performance from Ana De Armas. I really love the fantastical elements and how this film puts an emphasis on the “fictional” aspect of this fictional biography. There’s a lot of dream like sequences that…

  • The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

    The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

    ★★

    I wouldn’t be surprised if this was an AI generated script. I don’t think there’s a single unexpected story beat in this whole film.

  • The Mummy Returns

    The Mummy Returns

    Makes the first seem sooo much better in comparison

  • Crimes of the Future

    Crimes of the Future

    ★★½

    I tried to pay attention and enjoy this movie. But in between the exposition dumps and the gnarly body horror are the most dull, uninteresting scenes of people talking. Something cool would happen, like the autopsy show or the man with ears covering his body, but that would be followed by Vigo Mortensen, cloaked in black, crouched down, mumbling to a policeman like some sort of Batman parody. And when the scenes like that would happen, I would just start thinking about something else and lose track of the plot.