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  • Crystal Force

    Crystal Force

    half of this is a bunch of chicks just hanging out and bantering and the other half is neon pink/blue shitty computer graphic'd sex nightmares caused by a demon crystal, and there's a hilarious creepy antique dealer who wears round sunglasses and a beret and has two big scary dogs, and seances, and a guy in a rubber monster suit chasing people, and richard band-style muzak, and so much denim and big bad 90's on one hand yes it's lame low-budget horror trash but on the other hand look at that fucking poster!!! this is the greatest film ever made!!!

  • Everything, Everything

    Everything, Everything


    being a teen girl and navigating a world of boys who think only of sex, it’s a special fantasy to find one who actually likes you for your personality. read enough YA and you’ll notice a pattern among the most popular ones - loser girl meets a super hot guy who thinks she’s a beautiful and smart and strong and blows his mind. bad boys turn into poets, angels literally fall from the sky, etc. that these stories are so…

Popular reviews

  • Minions


    when i say i would die for my daughter, it doesn't only mean i would give her a vital organ or make her drink the last of the water in a desert or take her place in front of an oncoming speeding vehicle or pull her out of a burning building. it also means i will die thousands upon thousands of small deaths - i watched the seconds of my life tick slowly away as i endured the mind-numbing boredom…

  • La La Land

    La La Land


    i don't care what anyone - including the director - says, this movie is only about one thing: the soft spot you'll always have for the first obnoxious dumbass you fell in love with