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  • Murder Weapon

    Murder Weapon

    ★★★

    ok it's not the feminist masterpiece i was hoping for, and it's almost unbearably incompetent in many ways, and 90% of it is boring, and basically it sucks, but...i...loved...it...so...much

  • That Night

    That Night

    ★★★

    pretty standard/cute with one really great little scene where the neighborhood moms are hornily watching juliette lewis make out with her bf

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  • Minions

    Minions

    when i say i would die for my daughter, it doesn't only mean i would give her a vital organ or make her drink the last of the water in a desert or take her place in front of an oncoming speeding vehicle or pull her out of a burning building. it also means i will die thousands upon thousands of small deaths - i watched the seconds of my life tick slowly away as i endured the mind-numbing boredom…

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★

    i don't care what anyone - including the director - says, this movie is only about one thing: the soft spot you'll always have for the first obnoxious dumbass you fell in love with