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  • Single White Female

    Single White Female

    ★★★½

    this movie except jennifer jason leigh is bridget fonda and i'm jennifer jason leigh and it's real life

  • Woman on the Run

    Woman on the Run

    ★★★★

    super snappy script and excellent atmosphere saved this boring-ass "oh wait my loser husband is good, actually" story. i declare it a gem

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  • Minions

    Minions

    when i say i would die for my daughter, it doesn't only mean i would give her a vital organ or make her drink the last of the water in a desert or take her place in front of an oncoming speeding vehicle or pull her out of a burning building. it also means i will die thousands upon thousands of small deaths - i watched the seconds of my life tick slowly away as i endured the mind-numbing boredom…

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★

    i don't care what anyone - including the director - says, this movie is only about one thing: the soft spot you'll always have for the first obnoxious dumbass you fell in love with