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  • Satan's Little Helper

    Satan's Little Helper

    ★★★

    You know, I can't quite decide if I like or hate this film. Most of the performances are awful, the dialogue sounds like it was written by Martians, and every character seems to have lost twenty percent of their brain mass to carbon monoxide poisoning.

    And yet .. the mime-quiet performance of 'Satan Man' keeps delivering the gestural equivalent of great one-liners throughout the entire film, so it kept me laughing, when I wasn't flabbergasted by the stupidity of everyone else.

  • Deathstalker II

    Deathstalker II

    ★★★★

    Pure B-grade fantasy schlock? Maybe. But it's a step above the others in the series, thanks purely to the charisma of the lead and a more humorous, self-aware touch in the writing department.

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  • Black Lightning

    Black Lightning

    ★★★½

    What do you get when you combine Spider-Man's character arc with Batman's Hans Zimmer score and cinematographic feel - with just a dash of Flubber thrown in for good measure?

    Aw, you guessed it. While Black Lightning feels really, really derivative of Western superhero genre films, it is a fun little movie in its own right. Definitely worth a watch, in my book.

  • To the Wonder

    To the Wonder

    ½

    'Pretension', by Calvin Klein.

    Take any five minutes of this film, put it in black and white, and mute the already sparse dialogue, and you've got any given perfume commercial. It's pretty, but devoid of any sense of plot.. character.. dialogue. Y'know, things that traditionally make up a movie.

    I'd never seen a Terrence Malick movie before .. and having seen To the Wonder, I'm not sure if that fact has changed. As a writer, he's a pretty good photographer.