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  • Descendants

    Descendants

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    at one point during Ben's Heath Ledger inspired sports field serenade, I just knew that I had moved past unironically enjoying this film, straight through to "this is an absolute revelation upon my life"

    - every song rips, except rotten to the core but you forget about it by the end
    - camptastic performances from the parent villains (Chenoweth!!! Evil mom!!!) and everyone seems like they're having the best time
    - dove cameron's face was created by a computer algorithm…

  • Grease

    Grease

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    I just noticed in the "greased lightning" sequence, before the shop cuts to the stage with dancers, there's three shop students just hanging out over by a desk and giving John Travolta and gang this look like "what in the entire hell is going on" and it is absolutely sending me for some reason, I am losing it

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  • Cats

    Cats

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    Here’s the thing about Cats, as an entity- Cats is really fucking weird. Just as a musical by itself, even as a book of poems, it’s bizarre. It is also incredibly British, cat-centric (as you would assume), and horny. Oh boy, is it horny.

    So you consider all of this, and then you ask yourself: is a big-budget musical a la The Greatest Showman involving horny, British cats really what should be the holiday blockbuster of 2019? NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

    Go read the rest over on my brand new blog: 1080mm.wtf/2020/01/12/cats-2019/

  • A Cinderella Story

    A Cinderella Story

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    honestly I would die for jennifer coolidge



    BRING BACK FLIP PHONES

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  • Bride & Prejudice

    Bride & Prejudice

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    my power is out and I'm bored and I need all of you to understand that this is the best Pride & Prejudice adaptation ever made

    - BOLLYWOOD
    - director of Bend it Like Beckham
    -
    the songs are just incredible
    - high class camp all the time

    like I am beyond here for Colin Firth in the wet shirt, climbing out of a lake like a sexy sea monster, but give me that deconstructivist racial commentary with my Austen

  • The Iron Giant

    The Iron Giant

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    okay but who the fuck names a kid "hogarth," that's like writing "beat the daylights out of me, other children" on his head with a marker