Descendants ★★★★★

at one point during Ben's Heath Ledger inspired sports field serenade, I just knew that I had moved past unironically enjoying this film, straight through to "this is an absolute revelation upon my life"

- every song rips, except rotten to the core but you forget about it by the end
- camptastic performances from the parent villains (Chenoweth!!! Evil mom!!!) and everyone seems like they're having the best time
- dove cameron's face was created by a computer algorithm to engineer the most perfectly beautiful human being and wow did that computer nail it
- that cgi dragon shit was honestly the worst but not bad enough for me to subtract from the rating

I am PUMPED AS HELL to watch the rest of these!!!!