RSS feed for Carey
  • Cats

    Cats

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    Here’s the thing about Cats, as an entity- Cats is really fucking weird. Just as a musical by itself, even as a book of poems, it’s bizarre. It is also incredibly British, cat-centric (as you would assume), and horny. Oh boy, is it horny.

    So you consider all of this, and then you ask yourself: is a big-budget musical a la The Greatest Showman involving horny, British cats really what should be the holiday blockbuster of 2019? NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

    Go read the rest over on my brand new blog: 1080mm.wtf/2020/01/12/cats-2019/

  • A Cinderella Story

    A Cinderella Story

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    honestly I would die for jennifer coolidge



    BRING BACK FLIP PHONES

  • The Mask of Zorro

    The Mask of Zorro

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    why on God's green earth did my parents take me to see this in theaters as an eight year old



    this movie absolutely rips. everyone in the cast is beautiful and I would like for them to punch me

  • Descendants

    Descendants

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    at one point during Ben's Heath Ledger inspired sports field serenade, I just knew that I had moved past unironically enjoying this film, straight through to "this is an absolute revelation upon my life"

    - every song rips, except rotten to the core but you forget about it by the end
    - camptastic performances from the parent villains (Chenoweth!!! Evil mom!!!) and everyone seems like they're having the best time
    - dove cameron's face was created by a computer algorithm…

  • Grease

    Grease

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    I just noticed in the "greased lightning" sequence, before the shop cuts to the stage with dancers, there's three shop students just hanging out over by a desk and giving John Travolta and gang this look like "what in the entire hell is going on" and it is absolutely sending me for some reason, I am losing it

  • The Greatest Showman

    The Greatest Showman

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    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    my partner when jenny lind shows up: oh my god, hugh, don't do it. don't you cheat on michelle williams
    (they were so upset. understandably so)


    -1 star for a weird tonal set-up in the beginning and an ending that goes too long

    PINK HAIR ZENDAYA I LIVE FOR THIS

  • Jenny Slate: Stage Fright

    Jenny Slate: Stage Fright

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    there are two things you should know right now:

    1. I love jenny slate, very much. I think she is precious and good and wonderful. if I knew her, I would hug her every day.

    2. I have not watched a stand-up comedy special in at least five years. they just aren't my thing. I don't like watching people tell jokes on stage at other people. let me live

    so that being said, this was... certainly an experience? considering it's…

  • Coco

    Coco

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    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    me: I don't get angry that easily

    also me: I will beat the ever-loving death out of that sh*tlord ernesto de la cruz

  • Between Two Ferns: The Movie

    Between Two Ferns: The Movie

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    I wouldn't consider myself to be a huge fan of BTF as a show, but I saw a Chris Miller tweet praising the film and the director Scott Auckerman (Hot Soccer Mom) and I was like oh hell, okay, I have to watch this now

    You know, it wasn't... bad. I really enjoyed parts of it, and I think this movie is gonna grow on me with time. Chrissy & John were so stupid good, and the celebrity cameos overall were…

  • Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

    Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

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    HAPPY T E N Y E A R ANNIVERSARY TO THIS FILM

    ten years later and it's hot girl bill hader summer and I couldn't be happier. you deserve, bill

    EDIT: I WROTE THIS BEFORE MY BOY WON HIMSELF AN EMMY!!!!

  • Promare

    Promare

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    okay kill la kill, space patrol luluco & devilman crybaby walked so promare could run
    it did not have to go that hard. and it did

    pastel flames are 100% my type, that's my type. the plot got a liiiiittle easy to read in one or two parts but it was dumb and good and fun. and it's gay. this ripped

  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

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    I keep forgetting to review this!!! we saw it last week in IMAX and I thought I was gonna dislike it but I really enjoyed it

    for all of the criticism re: margot not having enough lines... yeah, I kinda get it, but also the film absolutely revolves around her as the sun and you and I both know it. she is so joyful and effervescent as sharon and it is delightful to see her on screen every time

    I…