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  • Ice Cream Man

    Ice Cream Man

    ★★

    my favorite piece of ice cream man trivia is that they recently tried to do a kickstarter for part 2 but only managed to get 4 out of their 300k goal and half of that came from 1 backer who pledged 2k to pick an ice cream flavor in the movie

  • Battle Beyond the Stars

    Battle Beyond the Stars

    ★★★★

    "With a good script, a good director can produce a masterpiece. With the same script, a mediocre director can produce a passable film. But with a bad script even a good director can’t possibly make a good film. For truly cinematic expression, the camera and the microphone must be able to cross both fire and water. The script must be something that has the power to do this."

    — Akira Kurosawa

    "One of the space samurai has to have like, really big boobies."

    — Jimmy T. Murakami

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  • The Craft

    The Craft

    ★★

    Michelle had never seen it so we watched it. I know, you can't make this shit up.

  • John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

    John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

    ★★★★

    Fully commits to the high-falutin, hyper-stylized nonsense that was the second half of the second movie. Mark Dacascos stars as both the main adversary of Keanu, and the avatar for his fanbase (so like, everyone?), which is the kind of DTV action fanboy power move that makes me wonder who Stahelski will revive next. Cynthia Rothrock, dare I dream?

    Common sense has no effect on this world anymore and the only way forward is to embrace this fact.

    Also every time Ian McShane says "Jonathan" I can't help but hear it as "John of Fun".

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  • Halloween III: Season of the Witch

    Halloween III: Season of the Witch

    ★★★★★

    Do you see what happens when an entitled fanbase boycots a movie because it didn't give them exactly what they wanted? DO YOU SEE?! An initiative that produced something that is so insanely gorgeous, so utterly submerged in foreboding gloom, so refreshingly unconcerned about losing you as a viewer... only to prematurely get its plug pulled, leaving us forever wondering about what could have been. And boy, don't even get me started about the soundtrack. You wanna know how I…

  • Tough Guys Don't Dance

    Tough Guys Don't Dance

    ★★★★★

    Imagine Tommy Wiseau wrote a spec script for Twin Peaks, someone only cleaned up the language to sound like actual English, but changed nothing else; then Golan & Globus got like, Vampire's Kiss Nic Cage to be an acting coach; and finally put everyone on a strict diet of cocaine. I'm 100% convinced that every ounce shown in the movie is the real deal, and NONE of it went to waste. Everyone in this movie is certifiable, and the grandiose garbage…